Rescued
by Vikingheart
Summary: Penny has almost died in a storm on the Atlantic Ocean. She is saved and taken aboard a Royal Navy ship. The captain is arrogant and condescending, but she can't forget the first impression she got of him. A Shenny story set during the Napoleon War, in the year 1805!
1. Rescued

**WARNINGS:**

1- This is a **Shenny** story! If you don't like this pairing, don't waste your precious time reading this!

2- If you can't imagine an early 19th century Sheldon, one without 21st century things like white boards, Super Hero T-shirts, lap tops, String Theory, washing machines and Star Trek, then this is certainly **not** a story for you!

3- This is a Fan **Fiction **story, set in both an alternative universe and in an alternative time period! Due to the time setting, some of Penny's and Sheldon's personality traits have had to be changed or taken away completely (like his germophobia* and her promiscuity).

If you are looking for **'Canon'**, you can only find it in the **TV Show** itself!

(* Germs as the cause of infectious diseases, where not discovered until late 19th century.)

* * *

**Any similarities with Canon**

**within this story**

**is purely accidental!**

**;-)**

* * *

**A/N:**

**This Viking lady have always had a big crush on handsome men in uniforms! After watching the Russell Crowe movie 'Master and Commander' on DVD, a question came into my mind:**

**_How would Jim Parsons look, dressed up in a navy blue uniform of The Royal British Navy from the year 1805?_**

**Well... *fans myself* Need I say anymore...? ;-)**

**This VERY nice picture then gave me the idea to a story and my fantasy became very inspired by it. Suddenly, it weigh anchor and sailed away towards the horizon of Fan Fiction... :-)**

**I hope you will enjoy reading it, just as much as I have enjoyed writing it!**

**I still have some changes, additions and finishing touches to do, but it is already written to about 80 %.**

**Here comes the beginning of this romantic Shenny story of 22 chapters:**

* * *

**oooOOOooo**

_**The year is 1805.**_

_**Britain is at war with The French Empire,**_

_**in an attempt to put an end to Napoleon's conquest of Europe.**_

_**In the middle of The Atlantic Ocean,**_

_**a small boat is drifting all alone on the vast blue emptiness.**_

* * *

**oooOOO Rescued OOOooo**

She was all alone in the small boat, laying completely exposed to the burning sun. The others had died, one after the other. The bodies of the last two crew members were still laying in the other end of the boat. She didn't have strength enough to push them overboard.

Her father had been right. She was stronger than most and a real survivor. She had outlived them all. But it wouldn't last long now. Her time had come. She closed her eyes and was prepared to finally die.

**oooOOOooo**

She was almost unconscious when she suddenly felt the sun being blocked out. She looked up under heavy eyelids, and saw the tall side of a ship. _Thank you, Lord! Thank you!_

She was hoisted up by ropes, and laid down on a sun warm deck. Someone gave her water to drink. It tasted heavenly. A gentle hand held her head while she drank eagerly. She could smell a faint scent of soap. Before she blacked out again, she dimly registered the feeling of soft wool against her cheek.

Afterwards, she could only barely remember that the same man had talked to her. He had said something calming and reassuring. He had also asked questions. She had tried to, but could not answer him. She didn't regain full consciousness until several ours and gallons of water later. But she would always remember the scent of soap and the sound of his voice. A soft, soothing and tender voice. And she would always remember his eyes. They were gentle and filled with concern and they were as clear blue as the ocean on a sunny day.

**oooOOOooo**

He paced back and forth, in an attempt to keep his growing impatience under control. It had been three days since they had saved her, and she had not been able to answer any questions yet. He was waiting for the ships surgeon, Doctor Hofstadter, and his report from his examination of her condition.

_Knock. Knock._

"At last! Please enter!" "Captain, she is -" "Yes?" The short man sighed and tried to hide his irritation by being interrupted. During the last three days, the captain had been an even bigger pain in the ass than usual, and the surgeon had never felt more eager to leave this ship than he was right now. He took a deep breath in an effort to calm himself. "Well, I think that you can question her now, but..." The tall man walked away with eager strides. "- please be gentle. She is still... very weak," the surgeon said to no one but himself. _God, have mercy on me! And her! Poor woman!_

_**oooOOOooo**_

_Knock. Knock. Knock._ "Milady!"

_Knock. Knock. Knock._ "Milady!"

_Knock. Knock. Knock._ "Milady!"

"Yes..." she said with a weak voice. The door to the small cabin was opened and a tall, dark haired man entered. He was dressed in a Royal Navy uniform with a white vest and breeches, and a dark blue coat adorned with two rows of shining buttons and golden epaulettes on the shoulders. He was obviously the ship's captain.

Before she had time to think any further, he started to talk with a stern and impatient voice. "My name is Commander Cooper and I'm the captain of this ship. You are on board the frigate_ Pasadenian_, of The Royal British Navy. Can you please tell me you name, Milady? If you understand English, that is..."

She almost laughed with surprise and answered slowly. "I'm not... a lady! Just... Miss Queen... Penelope... Queen." He started to pace back and forth beside her bed. "Well, Miss Queen. I beg your pardon, but your expensive dress gave me the impression that you were not at all from the lesser population. You rather seemed to be of high birth and I wanted to make sure that I didn't offend you, if you were indeed an aristocrat." She just blinked when she tried to focus her dizzy brain into following his many words.

She didn't have enough time to process what he had just said, before he rapidly continued."Ahh, an English subject, I hear. Very good, indeed! I'm relieved. If you were French, everything would have been much more complicated... Well, then. What ship do you come from? What port were it's destination? Why were you, a woman, on board this ship?" She was weak and dizzy, but the last question made her irritated and that gave her strength enough to answer him. "You want to know why I, a _**woman**_**,** was on board that ship?! Well, I will tell you... _**That **_is not your bloody business!"

He stopped pacing and turned towards her. His voice was condescending. "I'm the commanding officer on this ship, Miss Queen. Therefore, refer to me as '_Captain' _when you talk to me!" He looked directly into her eyes for the first time since he had arrived, and she took a sharp breath of shock, forgetting to respond to his arrogant comment.

She would never forget those ocean blue eyes! They had haunted her, both in her feverish dreams and when she was half awake. She had thought that they had been the creation of her own imagination, coming from the severe dehydration she had suffered. But right then, the eyes from her memory were staring at her with an intensity that seemed to pierce right through her. In her memory, they had been gentle and concerned, but at this moment she could see nothing of that. Worst of all, they apparently belonged to this arrogant, condescending bastard! _I simply __**must**__ have been hallucinating!_

She was relieved when he removed his piercing gaze and started his pacing once again."I'm an commanding officer in The Royal British Navy. Britain is currently at war with France and that makes _**everything **_that occur at sea at this very moment, so **very** much _**my **_business!" She felt her irritation turn into rage, but at the same time she was forced to admit that he was actually correct. The war had forced everyone to be suspicious and on alert, and he was a high ranking officer in the Royal Navy. Yes, it actually _**was**_ his business to be suspicious about her... But that wasn't enough to calm her rage more than just slightly.

"Well... _**Captain!"**_ she hissed, while she clenched her hand into fists, in an attempt to control herself. "I know all too well that we are at war with Napoleon and his allies! But that doesn't give you the right to question why I'm at sea, just because I'm a woman! I was on board my_** own **_trading ship, the _Nebraska!_ We were sailing to Boston with tea and porcelain from China." He gasped in disbelief and his voice was filled with contempt. "_**Your**_ ship?! Please _**excuse**_ me, but -"

"Don't you _**dare **_questioning me! I'm telling you the _**truth**_, you arrogant, condescending ass-hole! My father is a successful merchant who trades with America. _Nebraska_ was one of his seven ships, before I bought her from him. My brother drowned two years ago, when one of our previous ships were ship wrecked and I have been my father's only companion since then." She had to rest for a short while, before she continued.

"When we grew up, my father learned both my brother **_and_** me everything you could ever need to know as a merchant. I bought _Nebraska_ from him four moths ago, so that I would have my very own ship and become an independent merchant. I know that not many women are merchants, but that doesn't give _**you **_the right to be this condescending!"

He looked at her like she were some kind of exotic animal that he had never seen before, and that made her even more furious. She looked back at him with flaming eyes. _Why the __**hell**__ must every man think that I'm stupid, just because I'm a woman?!_

"What happened to _Nebraska_?" he asked, with a much softer voice than before. Her anger disappeared rapidly and instead she felt the all too familiar lump in her throat, while tears started to burn in her eyes. She closed them and tried to figure out what to say. After a long moment of silence, she started to talk with a trembling voice.

"We... We were hit by a storm... No one on board had ever seen anything like it! Not even the captain, who was very experienced. Several of the crew members were sick due to food poisoning, so we were undermanned when the storm hit us. We... We did everything..." She had to swallow several times before she could continue. "We did everything we could. It was so... difficult... to... to haul down the sails... when we were so... so few..." She turned her face towards the wall in an attempt to hide her tears.

He looked down at her bandaged hands. He had been wondering why they had been so full of dried blood and blisters, when they found her. His eyes narrowed in concentration, while he processed what he had just learned about her. _It is apparently much more to this woman than just her aesthetically pleasing appearance. How fascinating!_

After a long while, she was still turned against the wall, and he thought that she had fallen back to sleep. He decided to continue his questioning later. When she heard him close the door, she buried her face in the pillow and started to sob.


	2. Coping

**oooOOO Coping OOOooo**

When she started to feel better, the Purser, Howard Wolowitz, gave her a pair of trousers, a shirt and a jacket to wear instead of her damaged dress. It felt strange at first, but she got used to it quite fast. The trousers were much more practical than a long skirt, when climbing the steep stairs on board the ship.

At first, she was still so weak, that it was hard enough to just walk outside, sit there for a short while to enjoy the fresh air, and then go back to bed and rest. She couldn't sleep very well. Her dreams were filled with angst and horror. With ropes that was tangling around her and cut deeply into her hands. With mountain high waves that totally swallowed the ship. But worst of all was the angst-filled screams from the drowning sailors. She often woke up soaked in sweat and with her cheeks wet by tears.

When she was awake, she was haunted by the terrible memories and she cried more often than not. She also suffered by the thought of everything she had lost. She had worked so hard to be able to buy _Nebraska_, but now she would be forced to start all over again, when she returned home.

It hadn't passed many days, before she realized that she couldn't hide her red and swollen eyes all the time. If so, she would never be able to leave her cabin. To her huge relief, nobody ever made a comment, although it must have been very easy to notice that she had been crying.

**oooOOOooo**

She was lying on her bed, once again trying to cope with the memories and distress, when a cabin boy knocked on the door and said that it was time for dinner. She raised and dried her tears while trying to compose herself, before she walked away to The Great Cabin.

Seven pair of eyes met her when she entered the most comfortable room on the ship, and they all looked at her with concern when they noticed that she had been crying once again. But as usual, they made no comment about it, and greeted her with friendly smiles. _Thank Goodness, for military chivalry! _she thought, while she walked to her place beside the captain, and sat down on the chair that Doctor Hofstadter had politely pulled out for her.

She was served some red wine and sipped on it, while she listened to the officers conversation. She looked at the captain on her left. She noticed that he, as usual, drank water instead of wine. She had never before heard of a man, let alone a sailor_,_ who avoided to drink beer, wine, whiskey or rum! She shook her head and smiled to herself. _You are a very strange creature indeed, Commander Cooper!_

He was served a plate with food and immediately everybody froze and turned their attention towards him. He looked at the food, tasted a little bit and finally nodded in approval to the terrified little cabin boy. They all sighed with relief and waited to be served. The cook seemed to have succeeded in following the captain's precise demands. This time... If the food wasn't up to his expectations in even the tiniest, petty detail, he immediately sent the food back to the caboose and sulked like a spoiled five-year-old until he got the food prepared just like he wanted it. Thankfully, they could eat in peace that evening.

She thought about the poor man in the caboose. It was obvious that the captain had a grave tendency to drive everybody crazy, but his behavior was at its most peculiar when it came to food and drinking. It was amazing that the cook had not jumped into the ocean, a long time ago! He was from India, and she suspected that he must be performing some kind of powerful Hindu ritual, to give him the ability to withstand the Commander's many strange ideas...

She had started to spend some part of each day in the caboose, in an attempt to distract her from her gloomy thoughts. The cook seemed to appreciate her company and always welcomed her, even though she suspected that she was more in his way than an actual help. But he never said a word to her. He only communicated with face expressions and gestures.

After spending two days in the silent man's company, she went to the surgeon to ask him about it.

"Is the cook mute? He hasn't said a single word to me for two days, and I'm really surprised that The Royal Navy would enlist someone who is mute." The short man raised his eyebrows in surprise.

"Mute? **_Raj? _**No, not at all! I talked to him yesterday and he could certainly speak then!This was strange... Not a single word, you say? Hmmm... I must go and ask him about what's going on. Maybe he follows some strange Hindu rule about not talking to women, or... something. Hmmm... I think I will go and talk to him immediately. Please wait here, Miss Queen!" He disappeared and came back a short while later, smiling widely.

"What is so funny, Doctor Hofstadter?" "Oh, you will not believe this, Miss Queen! Apparently, he is totally mute together with women!" "Mute with... Huh? What do you mean?" "Only that he explained to me, that he just isn't able to talk with women. It's not at all because of his religion, as I was suspecting. The poor man haven't got any idea what the reason is to this... phenomenon. Only that he have been like this all his life. He **_want's_** to talk with you, he really do. But... he just can't!"

"Soooo... It has nothing to do with me, then?" "No, nothing at all! He's apparently like this with **_every _**woman he meets, Miss Queen." She raised her eyebrows while she shook her head in wonder. _Oh my..._ _It seems like Captain Nutty isn't the only crazy person on this ship! _

Even if she had become very fond of the kind and sweet cook, she liked the evenings in The Great Cabin even more than her time in the caboose. It was so nice to be in the company of people that she could actually have a real conversation with. The seven men used to discuss culture and science, and she tried to follow and participate as much as her knowledge would allow her.

She was very much aware that she had more knowledge about the world than most women usually had, and the men had all been very surprised indeed, when they discovered that she knew anything at all about what they were talking about. She snorted when she thought about it. _You condescending bastards!_

They had even been surprised that she knew how to read! If only her father had been there then! He had been teaching her himself since she was five years old and he would have had some things to tell them about her eagerness as a student. If only he had had more time to spend teaching her, she had often thought. Then she would have learned so much more. But instead, she had learned a lot on her own, by reading through the greater part of the books in his large private library.

To her own annoyance, she was certainly not as well educated as the men in The Great Cabin were. But she was very determined to show them that she was far from the stupid, empty headed female that they all assumed that she was. _And you think so, just because I don't have a _**_penis!_**_ Just you wait... I will show you exactly what a woman is capable of! You bloody fools!_

**oooOOOooo**

Sitting outside the next day, she tried to mend her dress. The Purser had given her the linen, thread, scissors and needles that she needed. Sewing was the only "female" task that she had ever liked to do, and the damaged dress was really putting her sewing skills to the test. It was the only dress she had access to, and she would have to wear it when she left the ship, when they would finally drop her off at Plymouth, her home port.

It was only practical to wear men clothes while on board, but once she was back ashore, she would have to wear her dress again. Sadly, she looked too feminine to be able to pretend to be a man on her way back home. That would have been so much easier.

"What are you doing, Miss Queen?" She winced, and looked up at the tall captain that hovered above her. "I try to mend my dress, Captain," she answered, hoping that her irritation went unnoticed. Meanwhile, she tried to ignore the pleasant scent of soap that always followed him. "I didn't think that you would care to do something so… feminine!" he smirked. _Bloody, arrogant bastard!_

"What do you mean by that, huh? Just because I want to do some things that you apparently think is not allowed for women to do, doesn't mean that I can't also do things that is commonly looked upon as typically feminine! I happen to **_like _**sewing!" She glared at him and tried to sound just as condescending as he usually did, when she continued.

"By the way, the last time I saw a **_tailor _**working, that particular person actually seemed quite… **_masculine_**!" She smiled in triumph. "Now please leave me alone, ...Captain!_"_ she hissed, and continued to work with her needle, while completely ignoring him demonstratively. He looked down at her for a moment and then snorted loudly before he walked away, without saying one more word to her. She smiled contentedly to herself. _Ha! One point to _**_me_**_, Captain Nutty!_

**ooOoo**

Later, she looked up while she stretched her back, and saw him standing on quarterdeck with his hands on his back, gazing towards the horizon. She sighed and shook her head. She hated to admit it to herself, but the man was handsome. **_Very_** handsome, actually...

She sighed and, for the first time, she took her time to really look at him and to thoroughly study every detail in his striking appearance. Her gaze moved slowly over him, while she registered everything carefully.

The black soft leather shoes, with brass shoe-buckles... The white cotton stockings and moleskin breeches on his long legs… The single breasted, white moleskin vest, with brass buttons and a standing collar… The simple ruffle on the white linen shirt... The tightly knotted black silk cravat… The dark blue woolen coat, decorated with two long lines of shining brass buttons along the front edges and golden epaulettes on the shoulders. It's high, standing collar that was framing his long neck… The elegant uniform fitted his tall, slender body perfectly!

His dark hair was tied into a short pony-tail and was adorned with a black silk ribbon bow… Finally, a black felt bicorn hat, that accentuated the sharp features of his face... She felt a strong stirring in her stomach and had to swallow several times, while her heart started to beat faster than usual.

As if that wasn't enough to be disturbing to her peace of mind, she had already noticed earlier, that the colour of the coat made the ocean blue in his beautiful eyes even more intense._ As if _**_that_**_ is really necessary..._ she thought and sighed deeply. _Dear God, have mercy on me! It should be criminal to look that good! Damn you, Commander Cooper!_

She allowed herself the small pleasure of admire him a little while longer, before she finally, but very reluctantly, managed to force her eyes away from the handsome man. She continued with her sewing, while she sighed deeply._ Compose yourself, you foolish woman! He's nutty, remember?!_


	3. Books

**A/N:**** I just want to explain why Sheldon is so chauvinistic and gender biased in this story. **

**Sadly, his and his fellow crew members' view on women and their abilities, was the common approach during this time period. Women who were well educated, strong and independent did in fact exist, but they were rare. Since he has never met such a woman before, he is firmly stuck in this biased views. **

**His mother and Meemaw are both strong women indeed, but they live common lives as house wife's, and have little education. (But they have been bringing up children, the most difficult job there is! Praise to all you fantastic parents out there!)**

**But don't be worried, my dear readers! Penny is going to learn him a thing or two about women... ;-)**

**oOo**

**ABOUT THIS CHAPTER:**** As I have already explained in my Warnings, I have been forced to remove many of the elements that normally defines Sheldon, to make him fit into this time period. **

**But there is ONE thing that just can't be removed from him, without destroying the very essence of who he really is: his deep love for SCIENCE...**

**No matter 'where' or 'when' you place him, you can't take THAT away, without completely loosing HIM! **

* * *

**oooOOO Books OOOooo**

She was bored. _**Very **_bored! She wasn't used to be this inactive, totally free from tasks that had to be done or important decisions that needed to be made. She had helped her father in his business for as long as she could remember and this inactivity was beginning to make her crazy. And very, very irritated. She needed something to occupy her mind with. She couldn't help Raj in the caboose all the time and while out on deck, she always received so long and indiscreet looks from the crew, that it soon made her go below deck again.

She longed for something to read. At home, she usually spent a lot of her spare time reading. During the dinners in the Great Cabin, she had noticed that there were a lot of books in a bookshelf on one of the walls. Since this was the captain's quarters, she supposed that all the books belonged to him. She decided to ask him for permission to borrow one of them and walked away to find him.

He was standing on quarterdeck as usual, discussing something with two of the officers: Wheaton, the First Lieutenant and Kripke, the Captain of Marines, who commanded the 24 marine soldiers on the ship. They looked very serious and engaged in the subject they were debating, so she understood that non of them would appreciate to be interrupted by her, right then. She sighed and sat down on a bundle of ropes and waited for them to finish talking.

After a long while, the tree men were still debating as intensely as before and she finally lost her patience. She snorted angrily in their direction, before she turned around and walked to the Great Cabin all by herself. She decided that she should look for a book first and then ask the captain afterwards, if she could borrow it.

**oooOOOooo**

It was quite a large book collection that filled three long shelves. She wondered if all captains used to bring this many books on board. She suspected that they normally didn't. But then she was also quite sure that _**this **_certain captain was not an ordinary Royal Navy Commander. In fact, he seemed to not be ordinary in **_any_** way at all...

She moved her index finger over the back of the books. She lifted her eyebrows when she realized that all the books on the top shelf where about science. Mathematics, medicine, chemistry, astronomy, botany... She recognized the names of the authors, but had never actually seen any of their books, let alone read any of them.

It seemed like they were organized in a chronological order and together, they represented over 2000 years of collected knowledge. The first volume was Euclides' _Elementa._ Then came Copernicus... Galileo... Descartes...

She stopped her finger at the tree volumes of Isaac Newton's _Principa _and pulled out the first one. It was a beautiful book. She caressed the soft, golden brown leather and sighed while she admired the exclusive binding. She had always loved books like this. Her father had a quite large library, but only a few of his books - if any - was as beautiful and expensive as this one was. It was in very good condition, but she could easily see that it had been read many times.

She opened it carefully and looked at some of the pages and shook her head. Her knowledge of Latin was very mediocre and it was far from enough for her to be able to read an advanced academic book like this. She was just about to put it back, when she got an idea and opened it at the very beginning. She immediately found what she was looking for. Someone had written something on the front leaf, with a beautiful and elaborate handwriting:

_**To our beloved grandson**_

_**Sheldon Cooper**_

_**on your 10th birthday, Anno 1783.**_

_**-oOo-**_

_**May this book give you the knowledge you seek**_

_**and many happy moments!**_

_**Meemaw and Papaw**_

She caressed the letters, deeply moved by the tenderness that they expressed. But it was difficult for her to imagine the captain as the small boy he had once been. Then she took a deep breath when the realization hit her. _They gave him Principa when he was only ten years old! What?! A ten year old would **never **be able to read this!_

She shook her head in utter disbelief. His grandparents must either have been totally crazy, or else, their grandson must have been a child genius. She suddenly realized, considering what she already knew about him, that him being a child genius would actually not be so very surprising... at all...

She then smiled wickedly. The little note had given her some personal information about the weird captain. He was thirty two years old and his first name was Sheldon. And he seemed to have a close relationship with his grandparents, considering their cute nicknames.

_**Sheldon**, it is then? Hmmm... I kind of... like it!_ she thought, while smiling widely. _Maybe I should use it at some unexpected moment, to make you drop that damned arrogance of yours!_ She shook her head at her scheming thought and put the book back in its place with a sigh.

**ooOoo**

Her finger continued over some more science books, among them some volumes about botany written by Linnaeus. On the next shelf, there seemed to be books by all the philosophers she had ever heard of: Platon... Aristoteles... Konfucius... Seneca... Spinoza... Locke... Voltaire... Kant...

She laughed in awe. _If he have read all of this books, then what on earth is he doing as a Commander on a Royal Navy ship?! Instead, he should be a **professor** at Oxford or Cambridge!_

She continued her search and started to doubt that she would find anything suitable to read. But when she moved to the third and last shelf, she sighed with relief. Almost half of it was occupied by the collected works of Shakespeare. Then followed some novels, ordered by the authors names:

Dante Alighieri's _The Divine Comedy_, Cervantes' _Don Quijote_, Defoe's _Robinson Crusoe_, Marco Polo's _Travels_ and Swift's _Gulliver's Travels_, among others. She grimaced at _Robinson Crusoe_. To read about someone who was ship-wrecked, wasn't exactly what she wanted to read about right then!

**ooOoo**

Just when she had decided to read _Don Quijote_ and had pulled it out, the door suddenly opened and she dropped the book on the floor from the shock. The captain stopped in surprise and glared at her angrily. "What are you doing here? No one is allowed to be here, unless invited by me!" She swallowed deeply and her feeling of guilt and the shame of being caught, made her stutter nervously. "I'm... so sorry, Captain! I... I j-just wanted to..."

He took one step closer and was like a predator looking at his prey. "Yes...? _**What**_ did you want, Miss Queen?" "I was just... just l-looking for something to read. I _**intended**_ to ask for... f-for your permission! B-but... but you were busy, Captain!"

His piercing glare made her look downwards and she discovered the book at her feet. She picked it up rapidly and moved towards the shelf to put it back. He took a few long strides and blocked her way, and took the book from her hands. "And _**what **_are you doing _**now**_, Miss Queen?" She became angry by his abruptness and her guilt and shame were suddenly gone. "I was just going to put the book back, and then I will leave you alone!" she hissed.

He raised his brows into his usual, arrogant expression. "Haven't you forgotten something, then?" "_**What?!**_ What are you talking about?!" He looked down at her, looking superior as always."You said that you wanted to borrow a book. You also said that you intended to ask me for permission, and here I am. So... ask me!"

She gasped and her eyes were sending green flashes of anger at him."You've _**got**_ to be kidding me! First you are _**angry**... _and then you let me borrow one of your books _**anyway****?!**_ _**Ooooh!**_ I will _**never **_be able to understand your crazy behavior! You are acting completely... _**illogical!**_**"** She crossed her arms while glaring at him with her chin raised.

He didn't seem to be affected by her outburst. He just continued to speak with a patronizing voice. "Au contrare, Mademoiselle Reine!" She stamped with one foot in frustration. "**_Gaaah!_** Speak _**English**_, you bloody bastard! I don't understand French, and I don't appreciate being addressed in the language of our _**enemies!**_"

He remained unaffected and continued calmly. "I said 'On the contrary, Miss Queen!' Yes, I _**was **_angry because I found you standing here in the Great Cabin. Not because you wanted to borrow a book from me. Since I am convinced that you will leave this cabin as soon as I have given you said book, I am no longer angry with you. It is _**completely**_... _**logical**_**,** Miss Queen!"

She snorted and stared angrily at him, while she tried to understand what he had just said. "So... do you mean that I can actually borrow one of your books? Do you really mean that?"

"Yes... really!" She suddenly became completely stunned by the realization that he was actually _**smiling **_at her! A small, but yet very genuine smile. She was shocked. Once again, she could barely speak. "Well, then... I would like... I would like to borrow… the book that you... you are holding. _Don... Don Quiote_. If you... wouldn't mind, ...Captain!"

His smile grew even wider and her heart started to beat faster. She was suddenly _**very **_grateful that the Commander usually was such an arrogant bastard. _**This **_man that now stood in front of her, with a boyish smile and gleaming sparkles in those ocean blue eyes… Well, she immediately realized that _**he **_had the potential to be _**very **_dangerous for her peace of mind.

He nodded approvingly. "An excellent choice! I hope you will enjoy reading it, Miss Queen," he said, with a softness in his voice that brought back her memories from when she had been rescued. _Maybe it __**wasn't**__ a hallucination, after all..._

He handed her the book and she took it, very careful not to touch his fingers. She took a deep breath and tried to compose herself. "Thank you very much, Captain! I will return it as soon as I've read it," she said and walked rapidly towards the door.

"Miss Queen!" She froze with her hand on the handle. "Take good care of the good ol' Spanish knight! My books are my best friends. Therefore, I don't want to loose any of them. Or to have them injured."

She nodded and spoke with an irritatingly weak voice. "I promise," and hurried to the sanctuary of her cabin. She sighed with relief when she closed the door. There, in her loneliness, she was safe from breathtakingly charming smiles, soft voices and beautiful blue eyes.

**oooOOOooo**

Commander Cooper stood on the same spot as when she left the room, long after she had gone. He was smiling thoughtfully, while still looking at the door, thinking about the woman that managed to confuse him so much. She was completely different from every woman he had ever met. Strong willed, independent, brave, annoying and... _**fascinating**_!

No matter how angry he was, or condescending he behaved, she had not once backed down from challenging him. She always fought back with her sharp tongue. And she had even been bold enough to walk into the Great Cabin without his permission. Finding her there had not made him as angry as he really should have become. Instead, he had been astounded by her cockiness.

Her ability to say or do something totally unexpected had awoken his curiosity. The more he tried to understand her, the more of an enigma she became. And he had always been intrigued by mysteries...

He had never been so fascinated by any other woman. For him, women had always seemed boring and uninteresting. No one had ever seemed worthy of his interest. But _**this**_ woman managed to stir up completely new feelings in him. Feelings he didn't recognize.

Finally, he shook his head and sighed deeply, realizing that he could not keep his mind occupied with thoughts about her, any longer. He had much more important things to do. He used his well trained self discipline to turn his mind towards his work instead and sat down at the table to make some notes in the Captain's Log.


	4. Conversations

**oooOOO Conversations OOOooo**

Five days later, she knocked on the door to the Great Cabin. "Please enter!" She swallowed deeply to calm her nerves and opened the door. The tall man looked up from the Captain's Log, and furrowed his brows in surprise. "Miss Queen! What can I do for you?" he said, while rising up from the chair.

She had immediately noticed that he had taken off his coat and cravat. The informal clothing made him look relaxed in a way that made her treacherous heart flutter. _Calm down, woman! Like you have never ever seen a man without a coat before! Well, I haven't seen __**him**__ without a coat… Don't be so damn silly! Compose yourself!_

"I… I have finished _Don Quiote_ and want to give it back to you. Thank you for letting me borrow it, Captain!" She stepped forward and handed him the book. His eyes grew wide. "Oh, already?! You seem to be a fast reader, Miss Queen." _Don't sound so damned __**surprised**__, you condes-_

"Well then… Did you like the crazy old knight?" She was startled. Did he just initiate a conversation with her? It took a few seconds for her to find something to say.

"Oh yes, indeed! I can easily understand why it has become such a classic. I really liked the mixture of humor and drama and many of the secondary characters were very interesting. Although I liked Sancho Panza the most, because of his wisdom and thoughtfulness."

He nodded in approval and before they new it, they were engaged in a long and intense discussion of the many events and themes in the book.

**ooOoo**

He looked at her in awe, when he realized that he actually had an interesting conversation with her, and she had come up with some perspectives on the book that he had never thought of before.

She had once again managed to surprise him and showed him that she was completely different from what he had expected, when he had seen her laying almost unconscious on deck that first day. She had looked like a vulnerable mermaid who had been thrown up on dry land. So weak and… fragile. But the more he saw of her, the less vulnerable she seemed.

From the red and swollen eyes that she so often had, he had understood that she cried quite a lot. Although that was of course no wonder, he thought, considering what she had endured. He assumed that most ordinary women would barely have been able to even leave their bed, long after an experience like that. But Miss Queen seemed to be much tougher than that…

And here she was again, and once more she managed to intrigue him. This time she did it with her intelligence and sense of analyze, when she talked about the themes in the book and its characters. But he also noticed that her appearance was now very different from what he had seen before. She seemed much more… alive.

She was obviously fascinated by the book, and she radiated when she talked about it, with gleaming sparkles in her green eyes. He stood and admired her, studying every shift in her eyes, her waving hands when she talked with such devotion, the smile that lightened up her face…

Then she stopped talking and they remained still, just looking at each other. He could feel himself being pulled to her. He felt a sudden urge to be closer to her, and he almost took one step forward.

But suddenly, something made him feel uncomfortable, and he cleared his throat to break the spell between them.

**ooOoo**

"Do you have any idea about what book you want to read next?"he asked and she gasped. She was so abruptly awoken from the spell she had just been in, while looking into his deep blue eyes, that she had great difficulty focusing her mind to what he said to her. She had to try really hard to be able to come back to her senses enough to be able to answer him. "What? Do you let me borrow _**another**_ book?"

"Yes, why not?" He smiled that boyish smile again, and she felt her heart flutter even more intensely than before. "The good ol' knight seems to be in good shape, so I don't see why I would not lend you another of my books."

He then walked to the bookshelf and put _Don Quiote_ back in it's place. "Well then, which book do you want to borrow this time, Miss Queen?" She followed him on trembling legs. "Oh, I have no idea. Just any novel would do, I guess."

"Hmmm, lets see…" he said to himself, while looking at the shelf with novels. "Ah, now I've got it!_ Tristram Shandy!_" he said, while pulling said book out of the shelf. "It is rather fun to read. It is a mock biography and often quite absurd. Maybe… Maybe it can make you feel better." He then realized what he had said and blushed slightly.

"Oh, I'm so sorry, Miss Queen! I didn't mean to be too personal. It's just that I haven't been able to avoid noticing how often you have been crying… But… that is of course understandable, considering what you have been going through..."

She just stood and looked at him, completely stunned by his unsuspected concern for her. _Where is the arrogant and detached Commander Cooper? Please! I can't handle this... __**kindness**__ from him!_

"Oh, I…I don't mind, Captain." She tried to find something more to say in gratitude for his concern, but could not come up with something that didn't sound silly. So instead, she quickly moved to safer subjects. "Well… Hm… _Tristram Shandy _will be perfect! I have already read it, but it was many years ago, so…" He handed her the book. "Here you are, Miss Queen."

He then looked at her with a thoughtful expression for a long time and suddenly he turned to the shelf again and pulled out another book. "I want you to take this, as well." She looked at him questioningly, while he gave her the book, and he started to weigh forth and back on his feet, as if he was nervous. _Can __**he**__ actually be nervous? What?! __**Him?!**_

She took the book with a trembling hand, and he cleared his throat before he explained. "I just thought… Uhum! It is some short texts by Seneca. He gives some good advice about how to handle losses and misfortunes in life. I… I was just thinking that it might… maybe it might help you… eeh… help you handle your… feelings."

She was astounded by his thoughtfulness. She would never have expected this from him. She looked down at the thin book and blushed slightly. "I appreciate your offer, Commander Cooper. I really do! But I don't think that my Latin is good enough for me to be able to read it. At least not without a dictionary."

He smiled and shook his head. "Oh, but you don't have to, Miss Queen! You see, it is an English edition! I translated it myself, to be able to give the text to my Grandmother, when she was mourning my Grandfather's death."

She looked at him with big, astounded eyes at the thought of the huge effort he had made, to be able to give his grandmother some comfort. Suddenly, she felt like it was difficult for her to breathe. She whispered a rapid "Thank you," before she almost ran out of the cabin and up on deck, to get some air.

**oooOOOooo**

Once outside, she stopped and leaned her back towards the head mast, while she tried to get air into her lungs with deep, heavy breaths. Her cheeks were red with shame. _Why did I run away like that? What's wrong with me?! He was only kind to me, and I just rushed away like a fool…_

"Is everything all right, Miss Queen?" She turned towards the kind, questioning voice and were met by the concerned eyes of Lieutenant Wheaton. "Oh… It's nothing, Lieutenant! I just… I just needed some air."

"Are you sure? Because it looked just like something had scared you and that you were running away from it…" He looked at her questioningly, but she didn't know what to say. He furrowed his eyebrows. "Hm. Do you want to know what I think happened, Miss Queen? I think that you were talking with the captain, and that he said something that made you upset. Isn't that correct?"

His voice was filled with genuine concern, but it was mixed with a sarcasm when he continued. "I know all too well that our dear Commander Cooper can be a little…brusque, sometimes. So I can really understand if you fled from him." He smiled a crooked smile at her.

She suddenly laughed at the absurdness of the whole situation, and his eyes went big in surprise. "What… What is so funny?" She looked at him apologetically. "Oh, it's not _**you **_that I laugh at, Lieutenant Wheaton! Not at all! I'm laughing at my own silliness, and at that _**crazy **_captain of yours!" She shook her head and continued to giggle. "He's somewhat special, that's for sure! He… Oh, my…"

He joined her in her laugh and shook his head. "Yes, no one is like Commander Sheldon Cooper! But please, Miss Queen. Tell me what he said to upset you like that! Maybe I can give you some advise about how to handle him. I have known the man for many years now, so I might be of some help."

She laughed at his assumption. "Oh, you don't need to worry about _**that**_! I'm perfectly able to handle him without any problem at all, when he is arrogant and condescending. I can certainly get back at him, if needed." He smiled and nodded. "Yes, I can imagine that… You seem to be a woman that is not so easily scared, Miss Queen. But what _**did **_you run from, then?"

"Well, the reason why I began to laugh, and the big irony of it all, is that I run away from him because he was actually _**kind**_ to me!" She shook her head at herself, while he dropped his jaw in surprise. "What! _**Really?!**_ What did he do, then?" She blushed slightly, when she thought about how silly she had been.

"He lend me another book after I had returned the first one that I had borrowed from him. And then, he gave me _**this**_…" She showed him the thin book and continued "…and said that it might help me handle my… feelings… after loosing my ship and crew." She took a deep breath. "I was just so overwhelmed by his _**thoughtfulness**_. It… it was so… unexpected! And I suddenly just didn't know what to do!"

"Well, _**that **_was unexpected indeed! He usually doesn't show that kind of kindness to _**anyone**_! Unless it's one of his family members, of course. For them, he can do just about anything!"

"Yes, he told me that he had translated this texts from Latin himself, so that he could give them to his Grandmother for comfort after her husbands death. That's… that's _**amazing**_! Just to even _**think**_ about doing something as time consuming as that, to help someone else!"

He looked at the woman with a thoughtful expression, while he tried to analyze what he had just heard. He also observed the warm glimpse in the woman's eyes. _You really are something special, Miss Queen, if you have managed to make Cooper loosen up like this! And it seems like __**he **__have managed to touch __**your**__ heart as well…_

He shook his head while smiling. "Oh, I so wish that my dear wife could hear this! She has tried to make him loosen up and relax in her company every time she has met him, ever since I was placed under his command seven years ago. Every time we have invited him to our house for dinner, she has tried with all the charm and sweetness that she possesses, to make him less stiff and awkward while around her. She usually can make _**anyone**_ melt, as the social little genius as she is. But he still seems to be just as awkward in her company, as the first time they met. And he is like that with every woman he meets. But you… you have managed to get close to him in just twelve days… _**Bravo**_, Miss Queen!"

She smiled at the deep love for his wife that both his words and his expression revealed, while he talked about her. She wished that she one day would be loved just like that…

But then, his words about that she had made the captain change, made her feel slightly uncomfortable. She felt her cheeks heat up with embarrassment. "Oh… I really don't know if I really have… Do you… Do you really think so?" He laughed with a warm smile at her. "My dear Miss Queen, I don't think so, I _**know **_that it is so! And those books that you are holding is evidence for it!"

She blushed even deeper and looked down at the two books in her hands. "No… I think that you are just joking with me, Lieutenant Wheaton! Please excuse me, I think I will return to my cabin and start reading one of these books." " Of course, Miss Queen! Until we meet for dinner tonight..." he said with a polite bow, before she walked away.

He looked after her, with a thoughtful expression in his smiling face. _Oh, my dear friend! I think that you are already deeply in love… you just haven't realized it yet! I just hope that our dear Commander Cooper is wise enough to understand what a true gem you really are… _


	5. Storm

**oooOOO Storm OOOooo**

**_Five days later_**

The ship's movements went wilder for every moment that passed and she was afraid. Actually, she was _**terrified!**_ She felt the terror take a firm grip on both her mind and body. She tried to fight it, but she just couldn't. She had experienced many storms while at sea, but had never been this afraid before. Not even during the storm when _Nebraska _was ship wrecked. Then she had been too occupied with trying to save the ship, to have time to get afraid.

The captain and the crew on _Nebraska_ had been very experienced, but the storm had defeated them anyway, because of the under manning. The wind and the high waves had torn her ship to pieces. It had taken her crew, and all of her dreams of becoming a merchant on her own. If the watch on the _Pasadenian_ had not discovered the small, drifting boat that she was laying in, she would have been dead by now!

And right then, a new storm was coming, and instead of standing proudly on the deck of her own ship, she was laying in a cabin bed on a Royal Navy ship, curled up on the side with her arms around her. She was trembling and crying, unable to stop the strong agony and terror from totally consuming her.

**oooOOOooo**

After fighting against the forces of the storm for what felt like an eternity, it finally began to calm down and the captain could leave the quarterdeck at last. He took of the soaking wet rain coat, while he walked below deck and headed to his quarters. He was exhausted and was looking forward to some well deserved rest and sleep.

He heard a strange noise when he passed the door to Miss Queen's cabin, and he froze. _What? It sounds just like... Is she actually crying?!_ He hadn't seen her with red and swollen eyes for many days now and had assumed that she had begun to feel better. He stood and listened until he was absolutely sure about what he heard. _Good Lord, she is crying!_

_Knock. Knock. Knock. "_Miss Queen!"

_Knock. Knock. Knock. "_Miss Queen!"

_Knock. Knock. Knock. "_Miss Queen!"

The crying stopped, but she didn't answer. He knocked again, but when still nothing happened, he opened the door slowly. "Miss Queen, is something wrong? I... I heard you crying. Have something happened?" She sat on the bed with a blanked wrapped tightly around her, trembling uncontrollably. Her eyes were firmly fixed on her naked feet and she was sobbing quietly. "Miss Queen! Please, tell me what's wrong! Can I help you?" She started sobbing more loudly. _**Good Lord! **_

He sat down beside her, and patted awkwardly on her shoulder. "There, there," he said with a comforting voice. Suddenly, she throw herself towards him and put her arms around his body. She started to cry against his shoulder. "I'm so... so afraid... I'm _**never **_afraid! But... but now... I can't help myself. I... I can't stop trembling... I can't..."

He didn't know what to do with his hands. He wasn't used to this kind of intimacy. Not at all. After some thinking, he put them gently on her shaking shoulders. That made her lean even closer to him. Her hands held on to the back of his vest like if she would drown if she loosened her grip.

"I keep seeing them. I see them fall into the water. I hear their screams! I'm so afraid... I'm so, so afraid... But... But...I'm _**never**_ afraid!" she cried out with a voice filled with fear and agony.

Suddenly he understood. During the last week, she had begun to handle the deep sorrow she felt and had seemed to not be crying any more, at least not during the days. But then, they had met this storm and it had frightened her. It had teared down her fragile defenses, and all her fear, anxiety and her horrible memories had come back. And now they were stronger than ever before.

With just a short moment's hesitation, he put his arms around her comfortingly and whispered softly against her ruffled hair. "There, there... You are safe now... The storm is finally calming down, so you are safe now... There, there... Nothing is going to happen to you... You are not alone anymore... I'm here with you... There, there..."

When she felt his arms around her back, she started to cry even harder. She hide her face against his chest, and all the tears that she had been trying to hold back since he had entered the cabin, came in a flood full of agony and sorrow. She couldn't stop crying, but he just held her and kept on saying his calming words, with a soft and soothing voice.

He was very tired after fighting the storm for hours, and the damp clothes made him cold. But he realized that he couldn't just leave her, as long as she was crying like this. So he just sat there with her in his arms, and continued his efforts to calm her with his voice. After a long time, he felt that he was swaying. He was completely exhausted. _I really need to rest..._ _But I can't leave her! Good Lord! What shall I do?!_

He looked down at the tempting bed and after some thinking, he pushed the shoes off his feet and slowly and carefully he turned his body around. Without loosing his hold on her, he lowered them both down on the bed. He closed his eyes and exhaled with relief when his acing body could finally relax.

**oooOOOooo**

Much later, she had no tears left, and she just sobbed quietly. Then, she realized that he had stopped talking to her. She lifted her head from his shoulder and looked at him. He was sleeping. His features was soft and relaxed, in a way that she had never seen before.

She smiled and put her head back on his shoulder, and sensed his fresh scent._ He smells like seawater and soap. What an amazing combination... _

She closed her eyes. His clothes was still damp, but his body felt amazingly warm nevertheless. She felt safe. She could finally sleep now. One last thought went through her mind before she finally fell asleep, with a soft smile on her lips: _Seawater and soap.. _

**oooOOOooo**

He awakened many hours later. Her head was still laying on his shoulder and one of her hands was resting on his chest, covered by one of his. He looked down at their connected hands with surprise, but he didn't pull away. He just looked at her. Her eyes was swollen from all her crying, but she was still beautiful. Something stirred inside his chest and he had to swallow.

He knew that he should go away, before she woke up. But - for the very first time in his life - he refused to do what seemed to be the most logical thing to do. His life had always been full of rules and discipline, but right then he didn't want to follow any rules.

_I must get up before she wakes up. But I don't want to! I don't want to leave her! _He stayed a short while longer, and enjoyed the exhilarating feeling of her being so close to him...

After a long and very hard battle with himself, he sighed and moved carefully out of the narrow bed. When he finally stood, he looked at her one final time. He bent down to cover her with the blanket and for once, he suddenly acted completely out of an impulse. He brushed some hair from her face and leaned forward to kiss her softly on the forehead.

The feeling of her skin was tingling on his lips while he walked to his own cabin. When he sat down on his own bed, he buried his face in his hands. _Good Lord, what is happening to me?!_

**oooOOOooo**

When she woke up, she felt lonely and cold. Had he really been there? Had that arrogant, irritating man really been there with her? Holding her and comforting her?

He had seen her crying like a child. She had been weak and... pathetic. He was the last person in the world that she wanted to show her weakness to. But she had needed comfort so badly. And he had been there. With her. For her. Without being arrogant or condescending. He had just been comforting her. And his embrace had made her feel safe and secure, protected from the frightening demons of her memories.

Had she just dreamed that he had kissed her on her forehead? It was hard to believe that it was not only in her dreams that he had done anything like that. She closed her eyes again, and turned towards the empty space beside her. She smiled when she felt the lingering scent of him. Seawater and soap...

And then she drifted back to sleep.


	6. Frustration

**A/N: According to the traffic stats, there are at least 50 people who have read Chapter 5 but NOT Chapter 4! VERY strange, indeed...**

**I posted them at the same time, and maybe some of you didn't see that there was TWO chapters coming at once. Furthermore, the events in Ch 5 is such that you may not realize that you have missed out on a bit of the story. But that will be evident when you read THIS chapter... I just wanted to alert those of you whom it may concern! :-)**

* * *

**This is the answer I gave to _Jislane35_ to her question about the M-rating of this story (as it may be others who also have wondered the same thing): YES there WILL be some chapters further ahead, that will turn this story into deserving the rating... ;-)  
**

**Those of you who are a little suspicious about Lt Wheaton, like _Dark Theory_ in his review of Ch 4, doesn't have to be worried: In this story, he is a REAL "Officer and a gentleman"! He has no hidden agenda, since he is happily married and a nicer person than the very funny teaser he is on The Show. He has ****only** a genuine concern for Miss Queen and just wants to help her, since he likes her (in a Platonic way) and knows all too well how difficult it is to deal with a certain Commander...

* * *

**I want to send a big THANK YOU, to ALL you fantastic people who follows this story!**

**I am so happy to discover that there are actually people out there, who not only can accept, but also seems to LIKE my over-the-top-crazy idea to move Penny and Sheldon more than 200 years back in time, AND a long way eastwards, across both a huge continent and an ocean! :-)**

**Love y'all, my dear Shenny friends!**

**/Vikingheart, Sweden**

* * *

**oooOOO Frustration OOOooo**

She slept deeply without any nightmares, until late in the morning, as she was completely exhausted from all the angst, terror and crying during the previous evening. The tenderness that the captain had showed her while comforting her, had made her believe that he would be less arrogant towards her from now on. But she became highly disappointed when she met him again on upper deck.

She wanted to thank him for the comfort he had given her, but she never got a chance to be alone with him, so that she could be able to say something about it. It was very obvious that he went out of her way as much as he could and he seemed to be very uncomfortable in her presence.

She tried to ignore him in the same way, but she just couldn't. He was occupying her thoughts during every single moment, no matter how hard she tried not to think about him, and his distant behavior hurt her very deeply.

His ever changing behavior towards her was making her confused and very frustrated. The alternations between his initial arrogant and condescending attitude, then to being so wonderfully kind and caring, and finally back to the distant arrogance again, left her completely bewildered. Her confusion was growing stronger, the more she tried to understand him and his behavior.

In late afternoon, when her frustration had grown so strong that it became difficult for her to handle, she decided to confront him about the reason why he suddenly avoided her like he did.

When he had retreated to the Great Cabin to make his daily notes in the Captain's log, she waited a short moment before she walked to the door with decisive steps and then knocked firmly on it. "Please enter!" he called out. Her pent up frustration made her almost throw the door open.

He looked up from the Log Book, apparently startled and slightly embarrassed when he saw who the visitor was. "Oh, Miss Queen. What... What can I do for you?" he said while standing up. She took a deep, calming breath, to be able to speak with a calm voice.

"I came to thank you for what you did for me... last night. I was apparently very affected by the storm, and I would probably not have been able to calm down without your comfort. So... Thank you, so very, very much, Commander Cooper!" He just looked at her for a long time, before he answered her with a small nod. "Well... You're welcome, Miss Queen!"

His facial expression was totally blank, without the slightest smile or... any emotion at all. His total lack of emotional display made her frustration turn into anger, and she moved closer to him. "Why have you avoided me the whole day? It seems like you have returned to your old annoying, arrogant self again. _**Why?!**_"

He seemed startled by her question, and a tiny hint of feelings was reflected in his face. But after just a brief moment, his face turned into his usual arrogant mask and he looked down at her with expressionless eyes. His indifference triggered all her pent up frustration to explode right into his face.

"Don't you _**dare**_ hide behind that damned mask of yours, Commander Cooper! Don't you try to hide from me! I've already seen who you _**really**_ are, so stop pretending in front of me! " She could see a small glimpse of chock in his eyes, but then he composed himself and just glared back at her.

He raised an eyebrow and asked with his most arrogant voice "What on earth are you talking about, Miss Queen? I don't underst-" "_**Oh, yes you do!**_ Don't you _**dare**_ deny it! And _**stop**_ that stupid act, I tell you! It doesn't work on me any longer! I'm so _**tired **_of being played with like this!" She trembled with fury, but tried to calm herself by breathing deeply. _Take it easy, Penny! Don't say anything that you might regret..._

She continued to speak with a calmer voice. "You were so kind to me last night, and I have wanted to thank you for it during the whole day, but you have avoided me like the plague! As if you suddenly can't even stand the _**sight**_ of me! And it's _**hurting**_ me... It hurts so damn much..." She saw a glimpse of emotion in his eyes, but she couldn't interpret it. So she just continued to speak, in the hope of making him open up to her.

"Last night, you showed me something of who you really are. But then, you just fled behind that dreary, arrogant and condescending attitude that you seem to hide yourself behind. What the _**hell**_ are you so damn afraid of?! That I'm going to _**bite**_ you, or something?"

He winched at her cursing, but didn't change his expression even the tiniest bit and that made her explode once again. She gave him a push backwards with both hands on his chest. "Stop being like a damn _**statue**_! Stop being so damn _**mean **_to me!"

He regained his balance and looked like he was in complete shock over what she had done. But then he composed himself again and snarled at her with a low voice that sounded more threatening than if he had yelled at her. _**"Stop it! **_You have _**no**_ right whatsoever, to tell me how to act! How _**dare **_you come here and criticize me for _**who**_ or _**how**_ I am?!"

He then turned around and took one step, before he turned back towards her, as if he suddenly had decided to say something more. "Why can't you just leave me alone, Miss Queen? Why must you be so damn stubborn? I command you to _**never **_criticize my behavior **_ever_ **again!"

She just snorted at his words and looked challenging at him, with her chin raised. "So you _**command**_ me, huh? What a fool you are! Haven't you forgotten something, then? Haven't you forgotten the fact that I am _**not**_ a member of your crew?" she said with contempt. "I can do whatever I want to do, since you can't have me court-martialled!"

He looked at her with a small glimpse of regret for what he had said, and she softened. Suddenly, it was as if all her anger had run out and all that was left was her deep sorrow and her longing for the man that she knew was there, hidden somewhere inside him. She continued to speak with a much softer voice.

"Whether you like it or not, I really can do what I want. And right now, I want to tear off that mask that you seem to hide behind. You have dropped it before. First when you gave me water to drink after I had been rescued and then when you lend me your books. But most of all yesterday, when you comforted me. I just can't understand why you put it back on again... _**Why?**_"

She saw that his face started to soften and she decided to use her secret weapon, to finally be able to reach to him. "I want to get to know the real you, Commander Cooper. I want to get to know _**you**_... **_Sheldon_**."

He seemed to become completely shocked when he heard her saying his name, and he looked at her with big and questioning eyes. She smiled softly and took two steps forward, so that she was standing just a few inches from him. She carefully put a hand on his cheek, and the touch made him wince, but he didn't move away. She looked into his beautiful, blue eyes and whispered "Who are the real you, Sheldon?"

He looked at her for a long time, as if he tried to figure out something about her. She wasn't sure if she just imagined it, but during a brief moment it felt like he softly pressed his cheek into her palm. It then seemed like he was about to say something, and she waited eagerly, while they just stood and looked into each others eyes. Her heart was pounding hard and fast in her chest and it was difficult for her to breathe.

But then, he suddenly looked frightened. He turned around abruptly and took some rapid steps away from her. "Please, leave me... **_Please!_ **Leave me alone, Miss Queen!" he said with a trembling voice.

Her heart stopped and she took a deep breath, while a strong feeling of abandonment washed trough her. Right then, there was nothing that she wanted more, than to be close to him. But with a painful clarity, she realized that anything she did right then, would only push him even further away from her, so she decided to leave him.

She stopped at the door and turned around. He was still standing like before, with his back turned against her and his head bowed. She swallowed hard and then spoke softly "My name is Penny. I would prefer it if you called me that, instead of Miss Queen. Goodbye, Sheldon." She took one final glance at him, before she went trough the door.

**oooOOOooo**

She ate her dinner alone in her cabin to avoid meeting him again, since she couldn't trust herself to be able to stay calm in his presence. Later in the evening, someone knocked on her door. She sat up on the edge of the bed before she invited the person in. It was Lieutenant Wheaton.

"Good evening, Miss Queen. We missed you in the Great Cabin during dinner, and I just wanted to see if you were alright." "Oh, good evening, Lieutenant. Please sit down," she said with a gesture towards the only chair in the small cabin, and sighed before answering him" No, I'm not feeling well, so I ate my dinner here, instead."

He looked at her with a thoughtful expression. "Please forgive me for being so straightforward, Miss Queen, but I am worried about you. I noticed that the captain seemed to avoid you throughout the whole day and tonight you didn't joined us for dinner for the first time since you recovered. So I presume that something serious has happened between you two... Am I not right, Miss Queen?"

She looked down at her hands. "Oh, you could say that, yes...""Is it something that you want to talk about?" "I... I don't know. I'm just so... confused. One moment he is suddenly so nice and gentle towards me. And then, he turns back into his old arrogant self again! I thought... I thought that I had come close to him. But apparently I was wrong..." The last words came out like a trembling whisper full of agony.

He sighed deeply and shook his head with a sad expression. _Oh, what a big __**fool**__ you are, Cooper! Do you really want to destroy everything you could have with this woman?! _

He wondered what he could possibly say to make her feel better. But he had to at least try. "From what I know about him and from the things you have told me, put together with what I have recently seen with my own eyes, it seems like you have scared him pretty badly." She looked at him with big, wondering eyes. "What? What do you mean by that?"

He gave her a comforting smile. "As far as I know, he has never before met a woman that have interested him as much as you do. I think that that might scare him. He is not used to having this kind of feelings towards anyone. Just leave him alone for awhile and let him realize what he feels and what he wants, and I think that everything will work out just fine between you."

"Do you really think that he has any feelings for me, then?" He laughed and shook his head at her question. "Oh, of **_that_ **I am quite sure, since I have _**seen **_how he looks at you..." She just looked at him and shook her head in disbelief. "No... Today, he seemed to not want to look at me, at all..." she said with a bitter voice.

He smiled softly. "Well, I still think that he likes you more that he want's to admit... even to himself." "But _**why**_ is he acting so rude, then?!" she busted out. He stood up from the chair and went to the door. "Maybe the feelings that he has for you, is _**exactly**_ the reason _**why **_he is behaving like he does... Good night, Miss Queen." He bowed politely, before he left her alone to think about what he had said.


	7. Battle

**oooOOO Battle OOOooo**

When they had only a few days of sailing left, before they would reach the coast of England, they suddenly encountered a French ship. It was much larger than the _Pasadenian_ and had two whole gun decks and, accordingly, many more cannons than the _Pasadenian's_ mere 22.

Their only hope of going through a battle without being totally destroyed, was by using the smaller and lighter frigat's much greater ability to swiftly turn around and change direction. That would make it very difficult for the enemy crew to aim well enough to make a direct hit at her hull. Every member of the crew on the _Pasadenian _was working in a frenzy to prepare the ship for battle.

**ooOoo**

She was foolish enough to step up on quarterdeck. She wanted to wish him good luck and tell him to be careful. To not be wounded or, heaven forbid, get killed. But when he discovered her, he rushed to her and was anything but grateful. "Get away from here! Do whatever you please during the battle, but you are _**not **_allowed to be up here, or on gun deck! Get away from here, you _**stupid **_woman! You're getting yourself _**killed**_!"

She opened her mouth to say something, but was stopped by his hands that grabbed her arms in a steel hard grip. His blue eyes were dark with fury. _**"Get away from here!... NOW!"**_ he roared. He loosened his grip and walked away from her with long strides. She looked at his back with eyes filled with tears, but she knew that he was right, so she turned around and ran down the stairs.

**oooOOOooo**

She worked in a haze, helping Raj with heating water and with preparing bandages and other items needed by Doctor Hofstadter. The surgeon was currently without a permanent assistant, so she was going to help him with the smaller wounds, while he would take care of the greater injuries, with the help of one of the oldest cabin boys.

She jumped high with fear when the whole ship suddenly trembled by the first cannonade that was fired. But she got used to it soon enough, and when the first wounded men were carried down to the temporary sick-bay, she had just too much to think about to be afraid.

The men had mostly smaller wounds from wooden splinters that had been scattered by the enemy cannon-balls. But almost all the wounds needed to be cleaned, sewn together and bandaged. She had never imagined that her sewing skills one day would be used to _**this**__!_

She had to use all her willpower and mental strength to not become too affected by the sounds of pain around her. But she was very grateful that the surgeon didn't have to perform any amputations. At least not yet. She wasn't sure if she would be able to assist him with that. But her mental strength was going to be put to the test in another way, by the first death.

**oooOOOooo**

William, one of the cabin boys, had been hit by a falling beam. He was already dying when he was laid onto the floor.

Doctor Hofstadter had immediately examined him and shook his head with a sad expression. "Too many internal wounds... He will be gone within an hour, from severe internal bleeding. I must go and help those whom I still _**can**_ save from bleeding to death... Will you please stay with him?" He looked at her with sad eyes and she nodded silently.

She sat down next to the small boy, who was probably no more than ten or eleven years old. She placed his blonde head in her lap and grabbed one of his small hands while she used her other hand to caress him soothingly over his forehead. Meanwhile, she sang a lullaby to calm him and distract him from his pain.

When the boy started to scream after his mother, she started to cry and she felt how her heart was shattered to pieces. Thankfully, he didn't need to suffer for too long. She closed his eyes and kissed his forehead. "Goodbye, sweetie! You will finally have some peace now, my dear little Will." Then, she burst into uncontrolled sobbing, while she rocketed his limp body.

After awhile, she realized that she must go and help Doctor Hofstadter. Those still alive needed her help more than William, now. She rose from the floor and took several deep breaths while she dried her tears and tried to pull herself together. Finally, she continued to work.

**oooOOOooo**

The French ship finally realized that the British frigate was too swift for them to defeat all by themselves, so it sailed away from them and the battle was suddenly over. The damages that the _Pasadenian _had suffered, had thankfully not destroyed her ability to continue her voyage back home, and they could be temporarily repaired by the ship's carpenter while sailing. Although she had fewer raised sails than usual, due to damages on some parts of her rig.

**ooOoo**

The sudden lack of constant cannonades left a silence that almost had an eerie feeling to it, since it made her hear the sounds from the wounded so much clearer. She was exhausted, but it was still much more work to do. At least they didn't bring down any more wounded to the sick-bay. There would soon be an end to this blood filled hell.

She had taken a short brake to drink some well needed water, and was just about to go back to her work, when she suddenly heard heavy steps in the stairs. _Oh God, nooo! Not yet another wounded man... Please... Pleeease God... Nooo!_

She gasped when she saw the captain stumbling into the room. Half his face was red from a wound on his forehead, and the upper left arm of his coat was torn. He looked at her with glazed eyes. "I need... I think... I think I need to... to... sit down..." he mumbled with a rasping voice.

He swayed like he was going to faint and she stepped forward to steady him and helped him walk to an empty bench. He sat down with a deep sigh and leaned his head backwards against the inside of the ship. When she touched his hair to examine the wound on his head, he slapped her hand away. "No! I don't need any help with that! Just... Just water."

She ran away and came back with a filled cup. He drank it eagerly, while she fetched a bowl with warm water and a cloth and started to clean his forehead. He threw the empty cup away and grabbed her wrist. "I said that I _**don't **_need any help! When will you start _**listening **_to me, you stubborn woman! Just give me the cloth and I can clean myself. There are others here who need your help much more than I do!" he said with a firm voice while glaring at her.

She swallowed and cursed the tears that flooded her eyes while she turned away and walked towards the other end of the room. She had to admit that he was right. There were others who needed her more, right then.

But she had really wanted to touch him. She had wanted to feel that he was actually there, that he was still alive. The tears started to stream from her eyes. Tears of relief that he was safe and tears for being sent away so harshly.

**oooOOOooo**

Doctor Hofstadter was finally treating the last wound and she started to pick up all the blood-stained linen rags that was scattered around the room. She looked at the captain, who was still sitting in the same spot on the bench, with his eyes closed and his head leaning backwards. He was probably too tired to be able to move away.

The surgeon had sewn his wounds together, after the Commander had cleaned them himself. Now he had a bandage around his head and another around his left arm, with the shirt sleeve folded above it. The coat was lying on the bench beside him.

She continued with her cleaning, when she suddenly heard a loud gasp from him and turned around. He was standing up, and apparently he had just now discovered the small body of the dead cabin boy on the floor.

"_**Good Lord! Will!**_ Oh noooo! No, no, noooooo! Please, not him! He can't be dead... He just... can't!" He shook his head in disbelief and sank down on his knees beside the body and buried his face in his hands. "Good Lord, what have I done?! Please, forgive me... Please... Please..."

She sat down beside him."What do you mean, Sheldon? I don't understand... How can it possibly be _**your**_ fault that he died?" she asked with a soft voice, while she put a comforting hand on his shoulder.

He just shook his head, which was still leaning into his hands. "He wasn't supposed to be on deck. He was supposed to be below, helping Raj with warming water in the caboose. But he was always so curious..." He dropped his hands and looked at the boy.

"When they carried him away, I thought he was just wounded... I didn't think that it was so bad that he would actually... " He could not finish the sentence and had to swallow before he continued.

"I saw him, you see... I saw that he had sneaked up, probably to be able to see the enemy ship and to watch the battle. I saw him, and I didn't sent him away! I let him _**stay!**_" His eyes turned to her and they were filled with deep agony and sorrow. His face was almost as white as the bandage around his forehead. She stroked his back soothingly, while he looked back at the boy again.

"He was so intelligent and smart. He would have learned a lot from just watching everything and I wanted to let him do that. He always wanted to learn whatever he could about everything and anything. With his intelligence, he would probably have had a very successful career in the Royal Navy. He was so talented... But now... Now he is... dead... But I could have prevented it! I... I _**killed**_ him!"

She stretched her arms around him and leaned her head against his shoulder. "It was a battle and you can't be held responsible for who's being killed or not! You have no control whatsoever over who gets hit or who remain unharmed. Not even a captain have that kind of control..." She could hear how her bitterness stained her voice when she continued. "If _**someone **_is to blame, it is that damned Napoleon, who started all of this awful madness, just because of his mad hunger for power!"

He didn't say anything and she wasn't sure if he had even listened to her words. She just hoped that they could help him in some way. She didn't know what else to say that could give him any comfort.

From what he had told her, she understood that William had not been just any other cabin boy to him. She had noticed herself that this boy was special, as he had stood out from the other boys on the ship. He had been intelligent, curious and easygoing. He had been friends with everybody on the ship, even with its captain... She could very easily understand why the Commander had liked him so much.

They just sat there on the floor for a long while, without saying anything. He had his face buried in his hands, while she held him in a tight embrace, with her head on his shoulder. Finally, he looked at the boy one last time and touched his small hands in goodbye. Then he stood up on trembling legs and looked at her with eyes filled with sorrow. "Thank you, Miss Queen," he almost whispered, before he walked away.


	8. Burial

**oooOO Burial OOooo**

The next day, almost every member of the crew - except for the most severely wounded - were assembled on deck. They were going to bury the only one that had not survived the battle. Everyone stood in a half circle around William's linen wrapped body, that was laying on a table.

The Commander's face looked grey under the white linen around his head. They all sung a hymn before he read some quotes from the Bible and then finally led them in a prayer for the boy's soul.

After the brief ceremony, the body was sent into the dark water by four of the marine soldiers, who tilted the table so that the body glided off it and vanished on the other side of the rail. The captain then dismissed them, and everybody walked away to continue their tasks in silence.

**oooOOOooo  
**

Earlier in the morning, she had went to the Great Cabin to give the clean washed and mended coat back to him. Before she knocked on the door, she stood and caressed its soft fabric. She lifted it to her nose and felt the faint scent of soap that was permanently attached to it. She closed her eyes and imagined that it was the man himself that she was so close to…

She stood like that for a long while, until the door suddenly opened, and he stood there, staring intensely on her. She blushed deeply.

"Oh, Miss Queen…" he greeted awkwardly. She handed him the coat with an embarrassed smile. "You forgot this in sick bay." "Oh yes, I hadn't even realize that I had left it there, until right now! I was about to go to the Purser to get it back. Thank you!" He put it on and noticed that it was clean and whole.

"What… Have you done this?" "Yes. I had a hard time falling asleep, so…" "Thank you! But… you didn't have to. It's the Purser's job t-" "If I _**wanted**_ to do it, then?" she interrupted. He looked at her slightly enbarassed. "Oh, well… then… Thank you, Miss Queen."

"Please, I want you to call me Penny, at least when we are alone," she pleaded. He looked at her for a long time, while he seemed to think about what he would do. "Please, Sheldon!" He finally sighed, as if he resigned to her plea. " If you really want to… Penny," he said hesitantly and she smiled in gratitude. "Thank you, Sheldon. It means a lot to me!"

He gave her a tired and very faint smile back. The weary, tormented look in his eyes, made her take one step closer to him and put a hand on his arm. "How are you feeling?" He sighed deeply and looked at the papers on the table. "I was sitting up almost all night, trying to formulate a letter to William's parents. But I just can't find the right words to tell them…" His voice broke and he looked back at her with teary eyes. "I usually have no difficulty to express whatever I want to, but this… This I just can't do. I just can't…" He shook his head, looking completely resigned.

"I can understand that it must be very difficult… But I think that I can help you with that. If you just let me." He looked at her questioningly. "Can you do that? But how…?" She smiled and gestured to him to sit down at the table. "We write the letter together! You begin, with your condolences and with a description of how it happened, as that is your duty as the captain. But I can continue the letter after that, and tell them that I was with him during his last moments. I think that it would give them a small amount of comfort, to know that he wasn't alone when he died…"

He looked up at her with big eyes. "You were with him?" he almost whispered. "Until…?" She nodded and she could see a gleam of relief in his eyes. "Oh… I didn't know that… I thought that he…" She explained in detail what had happened with the boy since he was brought down to the sick-bay, and she could see how the information eased some of the guilt and pain that he felt.

It didn't take long for them to write the letter and they both sighed with relief when they were done. "Thank you so very much for your help, …Penny. It was invaluable to me. And to his parents… Of that I'm sure! Your words will give them much more comfort than _**anything **_that I could ever have come up with."

She blushed, by the first compliment that he had ever given her. Then, she realized that she had to leave him alone. "Oh, I must leave you to your preparations for the funeral… Goodbye, Sheldon."

**oooOOOooo  
**

He sighed deeply when she had closed the door. Once again he had barely succeeded in holding his emotions at bay. His thoughts wandered to what Wheaton had said to him the previous day, shortly before the Frensch ship had been sighted.

* * *

_Knock. Knock. "Please enter! Oh, Wheaton. What do you want?" "I would like to have permission to speak to you of the record, Captain." He looked surprised at the other man. "Oh, by all means... permission granted! What do you want to talk about, Wil?" "It's about Miss Queen…" He froze._

_"What… What about her?" "Well, hrm… I just want to say that I really hope that you have realized what an astonishing woman she is, and that you don't intend to let her leave the ship without telling her about the feelings that you have towards her…" He blushed when he met the open and honest expression on the Lieutenant's face. That man had an uncanny ability to read his mind like an open book…_

"_Eeeh, I'm not sure what you're talking about…" he said, while his face muscles started to twist. "Oh __**please**__, Cooper! You know that you cannot lie to me!" Wil sighed deeply, before he continued. _

"_Very well… I actually anticipated that you wouldn't admit to what you feel for her… It's so typically you! But as your friend, I beg you to at least listen to me. I've seen that she have strong feelings for you… Even if it honestly is very difficult to understand __**why!"**__ he burst out._

"_Right now, my friend, you have the chance to get a happier, less lonely life than you have right now. And you can get it together with a strong and unique woman! If you let this chance pass you by, you are - without any doubt whatsoever - the biggest fool that I have ever met!" He took some deep breaths to calm himself. "I really do hope that you will take some time to __**seriously**__ think about what I've said to you, Cooper..." he finished, before he went to the door. " Good day, Captain."_

* * *

He had to swallow several times. Wheaton had not needed to tell him that. He was already all too well aware of everything he had said… _But I __**can't**__ follow his advice… I just… can't! I can't do that to her! I don't have the right to… I really don't have the __**right**__ to do that to her!_


	9. Agony

**oooOOO Agony OOOooo**

She stood at the rail and looked out over the dark waves. She had not been able to sleep well during the night, disturbed by a nagging sense of guilt towards her father and her aunt Elaine, who were living with them. She knew that she should be happy right now, since she would soon meet them again. She should be happy to finally come home! But she wasn't. Not at all.

Instead, she was filled with an agony that had grown even stronger for each passing hour since last afternoon, when the watch who was standing at the top of the head mast, had shouted _**"Land ahoy!"**_ Soon, everybody on board could see the small stripe of land that was Cornwall... England... Home...

The crew shouted and laughed with joy, but she had just remained silent. The great excitement that she had expected to feel at the sight of land, never came.

She had been told that they would reach Plymouth sometime early the next day. But she secretly wished that they would turn around and return out on the empty ocean instead. She had been forced to realize that she didn't want to leave the _Pasadenian_. She didn't want to say goodbye to it's captain, even though he apparently didn't want to have anything to do with her. After she had helped him writing the letter, he had returned behind his well guarded mask again. _How the hell did I end up in this situation? How the __**hell**__ did I become such a __**fool!?**_

The knuckles on her tightly clenched fists turned white and she slammed her hands into the rail over and over until they were aching. _**Damn**__ my pathetic, foolish heart! Damn __**him**__! _

Tears started to flood down her cheeks, so she turned around and hurried to the stairs. As she attempted to hide her tears by looking down onto the planks of the deck, she walked right into the man that she was crying over.

"I'm sorry!" she said rapidly, before she hurried below deck. But just before she had reached her cabin, she was grabbed by the arm, turned around and was met by his concerned, ocean blue eyes. "What have happened?! Why are you crying?!" he burst out, but his voice went softer when he continued: "Penny, why are you crying? Are you not happy that you will be home again tomorrow?"

She started to sob and buried her face in her hands. She could not stop from crying. She could not keep herself together. Not when he, as if he deliberately wanted to torment her even more, showed her _**this **_side of him again. _No Sheldon, please! I can't bare it… I just can't! Just let me be alone! _

He grabbed her hands and gently removed them from her face. "Penny, please… Please look at me and tell me why you are so sad. Can I help you in some way? I promise, that I will help you, if I can. I _**hate**_ to see you crying like this!"

When she refused to look at him, he placed his long fingered hands around her wet cheeks and turned her face upwards. She closed her eyes, because she knew that she couldn't handle to look into his eyes right then. But when she felt him dry her tears away, by gently stroking his thumbs over her cheeks, she met his gaze in awe. _Did he just do that? Did he just… __**caress**__ me?!_

**ooOoo**

He looked into her tear glistening, green eyes, and he felt how his guard against all the emotions that he always felt in her presence, immediately crumbled into nothingness. His ability to think vanished, and all that was left were… _feelings_…

All those moments since she had come aboard his ship flashed by. The moments when he had been nothing but _emotions_…

He had felt_ protectiveness_ when he saw her laying on deck, looking more vulnerable and fragile that anyone he had ever seen. _Astonishment_ when she had snorted at him when he had questioned her. _Fascination _when he had realized why her hands had been so wounded. _Sympathy _when she started to cry when she told him about what had happened with her ship. _Surprise_ when she had showed her knowledge and intelligence during dinner conversations. _Admiration_ for her courage and perseverance during the battle

He had become_ crestfallen _after she had argued with him about her sewing. _Amused_ by her embarrassment when she had wanted to borrow a book. _Angry_ when she had accused him of being insensitive and like a statue. _Afraid _when she had come too close to him after their confrontation. _Furious_ when she had come up on quarterdeck right before the battle. _Relieved _by her comfort after Williams death. _Grateful _when she had helped him with the letter.

And she had also made him _confused… uncomfortable… curious… insecure_… She had drawn out every feeling that ever existed, out of him...

He, the man who had never cared much about emotions, where right then and there **_nothing_ **_**but** emotions_… He was not able to think. He could just… _feel…_

And now, when he saw the pain in her tear filled eyes, he felt an _urge_ to somehow make her smile again.

And suddenly, all that he sensed, was a strong and all consuming _desire_… A desire to…

**ooOoo**

Her heart stopped when he leaned closer to her and, softly- like a whisper, touched her lips with his own…

She closed her eyes, and revered in the blissful feeling of his gentle lips. Everything started to sway around her and she put her hands on his chest to steady herself.

When he removed his lips, they met each others gaze. Her lips tingled from the kiss and she longed to feel his lips again. She hesitated for just one brief second, before she grabbed his coat at the collar and dragged his head down to her and kissed him with much more intensity than there had been in the first one.

She heard him moan while his hands moved to her back. She stroke his lips with her tongue and they both moaned softly when their tongues started to slowly explore each others mouths.

She moved even closer to him and wrapped her arms around his neck. He pulled her towards him until she was almost hurt by the pressure from the buttons on his uniform, but she didn't care. The only thing that mattered to her, right then, right there, was that he kissed her!

**ooOoo**

All his thoughts, routines, plans, rules and discipline melted away. All that was left was the sensation of her lips, her tongue, her arms around his neck, her warm body against his… He was nothing but _sensations_ and _feelings_… And that was _**all**_ that he wanted to be.

Everything that used to define him had vanished. And yet, he felt that he was stronger and more alive that he had ever experienced before. He was… _**more**_… than he had ever been before.

**ooOoo**

After a long while, he finally ended their kiss and looked into her eyes with a soft smile. He brushed a strand of hair behind her ear, before he leaned forward and started to place slow kisses down her neck, while he whispered "Penny" between each of them. She tilted her head sideways to give him better access and moaned softly by the burning sensations in her body. "Sheldon… I don't want to leave you… I _**need**_ you!" she said with a trembling voice full of longing.

He moved his mouth back to hers and they continued to kiss with an ever increasing fever. The heat was a completely new sensation for her. She had been kissed before, by the few suitors she had had in her life. But during their kisses, she had never felt like _**this**_... It had been _**nothing**_ like this…

She had never felt this strong urge to kiss a man back, she had never had this longing to get even closer to someone, and she had never wanted to touch anyone, as much as she right then wanted to touch _**him**_.

She removed her arms from his neck, then slipped them under his coat and wrapped them tightly around his body, to get as close to him as she possibly could. He moaned into her mouth and pushed her towards the wall behind her.

He moved his hands down to her backside and pulled her upwards against him, while he kissed her intensely just below her ear. The pressure of his arousal made her feel a surge of pleasure, and a groan escaped her lips...

**ooOoo**

He froze…

He removed his lips from her neck, dropped her to the floor and looked at her with dark eyes filled with lust, shock and fear. He removed his hands from her and took a big step backwards, while he shook his head in disbelief. "_**Good Lord**_, what am I doing?! I'm _**so**_ sorry, Penny! I'm so, so sorry! _**Please**_… Please forgive me!"

His voice was filled with regret and agony, and he looked at her with deep remorse. Then he took some rapid strides away to his door and vanished into his cabin. She was left alone, staring at the closed door, trembling and panting. _What was it that just happened?! He kissed me, and then… Why did he run away like that?! __**Why**__ did he leave me?! _

The blissful happiness and passion that she had felt just moments ago, had vanished and were replaced by a throbbing pain. She stumbled inside her cabin and curled up in the bed with her face against the wall, while an overpowering pain and agony burned and teared inside her shaking body.


	10. Farewell

**oooOOO Farewell OOOooo**

She thought about what had happened during the previous day. During a short, but blissful and happy moment, he had showed her his true feelings for her. It had been just a short moment, when he had not pushed her away, but had welcomed her and her emotions completely and without any hesitation...

But then, he had suddenly pushed his own feelings aside again. He had rejected them - and her. He had finally - once and for all - rejected _**her**_...

She laughed bitterly at the big irony of it all. The man that so fearlessly had stood on quarterdeck during the battle, the man who had met a twice as large enemy ship without any hesitation... That same man - when faced with his feelings for her - had run away from her like a coward...

She had waited for him to come to her and ask for her forgiveness for leaving her so abruptly. And she had waited for an explanation to _**why** _he had run away from her like that. She had waited for him to come back to her...

But he never came.

She didn't see him again, until the _Pasadenian_ had reached Plymouth, when it was finally time for her to leave the ship.

**oooOOOooo  
**

She stood on deck, clad in a dress for the first time since she was brought on board the ship three weeks earlier. It made her feel slightly uncomfortable. She had liked the practicality and comfort of the male clothes she had been wearing.

She had already said farewell to Raj with a warm hug. He had blushed deeply and smiled at her with teary eyes. He had always been so sweet and kind to her and she was going to miss him. If only he had been able to talk to her!

The officers and the surgeon stood in a line and said goodbye in turns. They all kissed the back of her right hand in farewell, and they all looked very sad. Doctor Hofstadter thanked her once again for her help during the battle. She held Lieutenant Wheatons hand in both of hers, to express her gratitude. "Thank you for all your support. I am very grateful..."

He just nodded and smiled sadly at her. He understood from the pain in her eyes that the captain had acted just as foolishly as he had feared he would. _Oh, how you will regret this, Cooper! I cannot believe, that such an intelligent man as you, can be so utterly __**stupid**__ as to turn your back on her!_

He had to control himself from not shaking his head in disbelief at the tall man beside him. He reached out his left hand and gave her a small note. "This is my address in Portsmouth. Please visit us, if you ever come there! Even if I'm on duty at sea when you come, I'm sure that Grace will be _**very**_ happy to meet you. I will tell her everything about you, when I return home tomorrow." She smiled a weak smile in gratitude. "Thank you, and I promise that I will visit you as soon as I get the opportunity to. It would be wonderful to meet your wife, Lieutenant Wheaton!"

**ooOoo**

She tried to swallow the big lump in her throat when she finally turned to the stiff and grim looking Commander Cooper. _Oh,_ _God! How will I be able to do this without falling apart? Dear God, please help me! Please give me the strength I so badly need, to be able to say goodbye to him! _

She couldn't look into his eyes. She knew that if she did, she would never be able to turn away from them. Instead, she held her gaze on one of the top buttons of his vest and started to talk with a trembling voice. "Thank you..., for saving me, ...Captain! I will always be grateful to... you... and your crew. Thank you, ...for... for everything!"

She stretched her trembling hand towards him and he grabbed it by the fingertips, and she winced at the touch. He didn't kiss it, but only bowed stiffly to her. "You're welcome, Miss Queen!" he said with an indifferent voice.

He squeezed her fingers briefly, before he suddenly dropped her hand as if it had burned him. He rapidly turned around and walked away down the stairs to his cabin. She looked after him in shock, and felt burning tears in her eyes. Once more, he had abandoned her...

She closed her eyes and tried to hold herself together. _You can't break down now, Penny! You must leave this ship, now! You must get away from here! _After some deep breaths, she turned around and walked to the rail like a sleepwalker.

She climbed down the ladder to the small boat that would take her to the quay of Plymouth. She sat down with her face turned away from the ship. She would not be able to handle the sight of the _Pasadenian _becoming smaller and smaller. That would without a doubt break her down completely.

With the help of some unknown strength within her, she still managed to hold her emotions at bay. She felt numb and cold, and the same thoughts kept repeating in her head, over and over: _Will I ever see the Pasadenian again? Will I ever see __**him**__ again?_

**oooOOOooo**

About one hour later, she finally stepped through the door to her home. The butler went after her aunt Elaine, who where soon coming from the salon. She looked shocked. "Penny? Is it _**really **_you? But... you were not supposed to be back until November! My dear girl, what have happened?" She stopped in front of Penny and looked at her niece in astonishment. "My _**darling**_ Penny! It really _**is **_you!" She pulled the young woman into a warm embrace.

It was not until then, that Penny at last allowed herself to give in to all the strong emotions that she had been holding back, and finally, she broke apart.

**oooOOOooo**

Meanwhile, _HMS Pasadenian_ weighd anchor and continued with her sails set towards her home port, the Royal Navy base in Portsmouth. First Lieutenant Wheaton had ordered the departure, since the captain had remained in his cabin.

The tall, dark haired man sat at the table with his face buried in the crook of his arm. His shoulders were shaking. For the very first time in his adult life, Commander Sheldon Cooper was crying…


	11. Distress

**oooOOO Distress OOOooo**

It had been two months since her arrival home and she was reading as usual, seated by the fireplace in her fathers library. The book in her hand was her own volume of _Don Quiote_, that she had bought shortly after her return. It made her feel closer to _**him**_, and somehow, in some strange way, it eased some of the deep pain and longing. She sighed deeply. _How long will it take before this pain will start to fade? Will it __**ever **__fade? _

She felt the all too familiar tears burn in her eyes once again. _Will they __**never**__ stop coming? Am I going to spend the rest of my life crying?!_

Somehow, she had managed to live on after her breakdown, but she had hardly managed to do that, if she hadn't had the support of her aunt Elaine. The warm and loving woman had comforted her during endless hours of crying and despair. She had listened for days, while Penny told her every detail about what she had experienced. Elaine had also heard everything about the arrogant and distant, but also kind and caring man that she couldn't forget.

**oooOOOooo**

Elaine walked by the half open door to the library and heard that her niece was crying once again. She sighed heavily while her heart aced for the distressed young woman. Penny's heart had been broken so badly, that Elane sometimes wondered if she would be able to be happy ever again.

The strong and confident woman that had sailed away with her own ship to begin a lucrative trade with America, had returned as a mere shadow of herself. Her strong spirit had been shattered just as much as her heart.

Penny had told her about what had happened to the _Nebraska_ and it's crew, how her dreams of independence had been destroyed at the same time. But Elaine knew that Penny would have managed to overcome her terrible memories of the storm, and to eventually become strong enough to start working towards her dream again, if that had been _**all **_that had happened.

But that arrogant Royal Navy Commander had obviously destroyed the hope of that.

**ooOoo**

Elaine had heard every detail about the peculiar man that Penny had fallen so deeply in love with. After everything that she had been told, she felt as if she knew him just as well as Penny did, by now. Or rather just as _**little**_, since he obviously was a very difficult person to truly understand, with the strange and inconsistent behavior of his.

They had discussed him many times, as they had tried to come up with a plausible explanation to why he had acted like he did, running away like a scared deer, right after he had swept Penny's feet away with those kisses. But sadly, they were still as clueless as they had been right from the beginning.

Some of the man's behavior clearly showed them, that he no doubt had had strong feelings for Penny. But _**why**_ then, had he run away from her like that?!


	12. Theatre

**oooOOO Theatre OOOooo**

Mary Cooper knocked on the door to her son's room and opened it after he had invited her. "I'm sorry to disturb you, my dear, but I've just got a message from Mrs Jenkins. She doesn't feel well, so I need you to accompany me to the theatre instead of her."

He lifted his eyes from his new book and looked at her with his brows furrowed. "The theatre? When?" "Oh, _**tonight**_ of course! Otherwise, I wouldn't have asked _**you**_! I know very well that you don't like to go to the theatre, but now it's too late to get someone else to accompany me. Please, Sheldon! I can't go alone and I _**really **_want to see this play. I've looked forward to it for so long!"

He took a heavy breath and sighed deeply. She was correct, he didn't like to visit the theatre. Not at all! But he knew that she never went somewhere without company and he would not hear the end of it, if he didn't do what she asked of him. "Well, then... I will escort you. What time is it?" She gave her son a big and grateful smile. "At eight o'clock. Our carriage will be ready at seven fifteen. We have to eat our dinner one hour earlier than usual. I hope you can accept that." "Well, it seems like I have no choice in the matter," he muttered sulkily.

She walked towards him and caressed his cheek. "Thank you, Shelly! I know that you would rather stay at home and read that new book of yours." "Yes, I most certainly would... But I don't want to make you sad, Mommy, so... I'll do it." He sighed and glared at her. "Now leave me! I want to continue reading!"

He turned back to his book, but before she had closed the door behind her, he asked. "Mommy, what play is it?" Her smile was filled with guilt. She knew that it was not at all to his liking. "It's Shakespeare. Romeo and Juliet."

While she rapidly closed the door, she heard him groan loudly. She could not hold back a soft laugh. She was fully aware that her son loved to read the works of Shakespeare. But she also knew that he always jumped the parts that dealt with any kind of romance. She was certain that _**this**_ particular play was the one that he had read the least of...

**ooOoo**

He buried his face in his hands and sighed deeply. _Good Lord! How will I be able to endure this?! _

Five days ago, he had come home to his mother for an eight weeks leave, while the _Pasadenian _was laying in dry dock in Portsmouth for thorough repairs. They had been in yet another battle. It had been much more devastating than the last one and the ship had suffered greater damage than the carpenter on board could mend properly while still at sea. The Admiralty had because of that given them their usual leave earlier than usual.

It was certainly not at the theatre that he had planned to spend his time ashore. Further more, a play about love and distress was the last thing that he needed right now! He groaned again at the thought. It had been two months since _**she**_ had left his ship, but it was still very difficult for him to hold his emotions under control.

**oooOOOooo**

Mary looked at her son while they ate their dinner. He had changed into his full dress uniform and, as always, the sight made her smile. It was sometimes hard for her to believe that her little shy and awkward Shelly had grown up to be this confident and grown up Royal Navy Commander.

The order and the discipline of the military suited him perfectly, and it had made him thrive. She knew that he still had many uncertainties concerning how to deal with other people, and that he tried to hide that behind his arrogant behavior. But at least they seemed to not be a huge problem for him, any longer. He had found his place in the world and she couldn't be a more proud mother.

During the war against Napoleon, his intelligence and talent was even more important to the Royal Navy than ever before. She was grateful though, that she now would have this time with him safely at home.

She was fully aware that every time she said goodbye when he leaved her to embark on his ship, could very well be the last time she would see him.

**ooOoo**

He looked gloomy, which she ascribed to both the war and their upcoming visit to the theatre. But she couldn't completely shake off the nagging feeling that it was something else that also bothered him. He had always been a serious child who seldom laughed, and that personal trait had not changed when he matured into a man. Although now, it seemed like it was something more than just that, but she just couldn't put a finger to what it was, however hard she tried to.

When he had come home a few days ago, she had thought that his hollowed cheeks and the dark shadows under his tired eyes, where only there because of the war and the terrible experiences that he had endured during the battles.

During his first night at home, they had seated down in the coach by the fireplace, and with his voice full of distress, he had told her all about the war. About the dead and wounded crew members. About all the blood, the screams and the deafening sound from the cannonades. About the bodies that they had buried at sea, after he had read a prayer for their souls. And at last, he had finally started to cry when he told her all about William, the little cabin boy.

She had listened to his heartbreaking stories and she knew just all too well, that every single detail was forever imprinted into that extraordinary memory of his. The only thing she could do to help him to cope with them, was to listen to everything he said, to be close to him and silently dry his tears. He had talked about the memories during every one of their five evening together, and she could see that it made him feel somewhat better.

But still, there was this nagging feeling that he hadn't told her everything. It was so obvious that there was something more that tormented him, besides the memories from the battles. Mary knew all too well though, that it served no good to try and force him to speak about it. Her thirty two years experience of his stubbornness, had made her realize that patience and silence was the most effective method to make him confide in her about whatever he needed to talk about. She had to wait, but she only hoped that his few weeks at home would be enough for him to open up to her.

**oooOOOooo**

They arrived at the theatre, and Mary noticed that her tall son was receiving many long and admiring glances from all the females in the lobby. He himself didn't notice them as usual, and she couldn't help but smile. Because of his awkwardness in social situations, she most often forgot what a handsome man her son had become. Especially now, as he was dressed in that stunning full dress uniform, with elaborated epaulettes on the shoulders, and broad golden ribbons around the cuffs and among the edges of the coat and on the bicorn hat, which now was tucked under his left arm.

Added to that, was the fact that the current war against Napoleon was giving every man in a uniform a romantic aura of heroism, that made every woman swarm around them like butterflies. For once, she was grateful for her son's gloomy expression, which undoubtedly signaled to everybody that he had absolutely no interest in speaking with anyone. Hopefully, it would hold all the admiring women at arms length from him. Mary was here to see the play, not to socialize with others. She was _**not**_ in the mood to deal with hoards of flirting and swooning females! He offered her his arm and they hurried to their seats, both eager to avoid the crowd in the lobby.

**oooOOOooo**

x

_ROMEO:_

_See! How she leans her cheek upon her hand._

_O, that I were a glove upon that hand, that I might touch that cheek._

x

x

_ROMEO:_

_With love's light wings did I o'er-perch these walls._

_For stony limits cannot hold love out._

x

x

_ROMEO:_

_Farewell! I will omit no opportunity that may_

_convey my greetings, love, to thee!_

_JULIET:_

_O! Think'st thou we shall ever meet again?_

_ROMEO:_

_I doubt it not, and all these whoes shall serve_

_for sweet discourses in our time to come._

x

_ROMEO:_

_I dreamt my lady came and found me dead;_

_Strange dream, that gives a dead man leave to think._

_And breath'd such life with kisses on my lips,_

_that I reviv'd and was an emperor._

_Ah me! How sweet is love itself possess'd,_

_when but love's shadows are so rich in joy!_

_**oooOOOooo**_

Mary suddenly noticed that her son, who until then had seemed completely indifferent to what happened on the stage, now held the arm-rests in a firm grip. He clenched them so hard that the knuckels had turned white. His face was pale and tense and he swallowed repeatedly. "Sheldon, what is it? Is something wrong?" she whispered, while touching his arm gently.

He bounced like he had been scared by her touch and shook his head fiercely "It's nothing... I'm... all right!" he whispered back through clenched jaws, while his eyes were still firmly locked onto the stage. She could see the muscles round his eye twitch, so she put her hand on his cheek and turned his face towards her, to try to figure out why he had lied to her.

Mary gasped when she saw how his eyes were filled with tears and panic. Then, he stood up and forced himself past all the seated people on their left. When she came out of her shock, she hurried after him, while mumbling excuses to all whom she passed.


	13. Despair

**oooOOO Despair OOOooo**

She found him leaning against the wall in the lobby, with his face buried in his hands. "Shelly, dear! What is it?! Are you sick?" she asked utterly worried. She got truly frightened when he turned around and looked at her with tears running down his cheeks. "I want to go home! I can't stay here. Please Mommy, let's go home!" She put an calming hand on his cheek. "Of course, my dear! Wait here, and I will arrange for our carriage to come for us." _My God, what is happening to him?!_

They didn't say a word on their way home. He sat turned away from her and looked out through the small window with a tense expression. He seemed to have managed to get his feelings under control, but it obviously took all his strength. He was like a volcano ready to explode.

When they entered the house, she immediately pulled him with her and pushed him down on the coach by the fireplace, determined to not give him the chance to hide away in his room. She held his hand in a firm grip and looked him straight in the eyes.

"Sheldon... It is obvious that it is something that is eating you from within. You apparently can't keep it in control any longer. What ever it is, you _**must **_let it out! You must trust me, Shelly! I'm your mother and I love you... I love you so much, and I can't bare to see you like this... I'm here for you and I will _**not **_let you go away, until you tell me what is wrong! _**Please**__, _Shelly, trust me! Tell me what it is that is tormenting you so much!"

He looked into the fire and seemed to try to decide what he should do. She looked at him and waited with a big lump in her throat. She was terrified. If he didn't open up to her now, she didn't know what to do. How would she be able to help him then? Right now, she could only wait, and pray to God that her son would tell her what was wrong with him. He suddenly took a deep breath and started to speak with a trembling voice, his eyes still fixated at the flames.

"The play... The words... It made me think... think about _**her**_! They teared down the walls... The walls that I've tried to... to build... around my feelings for... for... for her. I have tried to forget her, but I can't! I have tried... I've tried so, so hard... But I... I just _**can't**_!" He almost screamed the last words, with a voice filled with agony and pain.

She watched how all his locked up emotions broke free. How he finally stopped fighting against them. How he finally gave in. He started to cry intensely, with his mothers arms around his shaking body.

**ooOoo**

Much later, she sat with his head in her lap. She stroked his forehead, while he sobbed softly. His swollen and read eyes still looked at the flames in the fireplace. Her heart was acing for her son, but a little part of it was happy. Happy that he finally had opened up his heart to her and that he now would be able to heal. And for the first time since many, many years, he had let her hold him.

When his crying had calmed down, he had told her about the woman who was the reason to all his pain and despair. He had told her about how they had found her in a little boat on the open sea and then rescued her. How close to death she had been. About how he had found her in his cabin, looking for a book to read. How he had heard her crying after a storm and how he had tried to comfort her. And how he had fallen in love with her that night...

He had talked about her resilience and courage. How she had tried to help with hauling down the sails on her ship, until her hands were bleeding. How she without any hesitation, had helped the surgeon during the battle. How she had helped him with the letter to the dead boys parents.

He told her all about how this woman had confused and fascinated him. And he described her golden hair, her sparkling green eyes and her beautiful smile.

The only thing he didn't tell her anything about, was that they had kissed. He didn't want to share that memory with anyone, not even with his mother. That memory was too precious to him, and he wanted to keep it to himself.

But Mary was still able to truly understand the depth of his feelings. She could see it in his eyes and hear it in his voice when he talked, and she shook her head in amazement over that her son was so deeply in love. It was something that she long ago had given up her hopes for, considering his complete indifference towards women. But now, it had apparently happened after all!

If everything had been as it should, he would have been very happy right now. But instead he who had barely ever cried even as a boy, had cried with a despair that broke her heart. Apparently, something had gone very wrong. She just couldn't understand _**how,**_or _**why**__!_

**ooOoo**

"What happened, Shelly? Why did you loose her?" He closed his eyes in pain and his feelings overwhelmed him once again. "I... I didn't loose her..." He started crying, and his mother had to wait patiently for him to calm down once more. "I... I... abandoned her! I... pushed her away!" She gasped in shock. _My God! What have he done?! How could he do that? __**Why **had he done it?_

"I didn't _**want **_to loose her! I didn't _**want**_ to let her go! But I _**had **_to! I couldn't do that to her. I just _**couldn't!**__"_ When he didn't continue, she had no longer the patience to just whait. "Do _**what**_, Shelly?! What do you mean?" "I would not be able to ask her to marry me! I wouldn't demand that of her. That she would be married to a man that is on board a ship for most part of the year. Who might die in a battle or a storm and never come back to her again! She deserves something **_much_** better than that!"

Mary couldn't understand why he was thinking like that. Almost every Navy officer was married. So why not him? But after som thinking, she suddenly realised something, and the thought of it almost made her heart stop.

"Sheldon, has this _**anything**_ to do with me and your father? And please be honest with me, Shelly! I can see when you lie, you know that. Please, tell me the truth!"

He sat up beside her and looked at her with guilt filled eyes. He sighed deeply and swallowed, before he spoke with a trembling voice. "Yes, it has _**everything **_to do with you and Father!"


	14. Revelations

**oooOOO Revelations OOOooo**

"_Yes, it has __**everything **__to do with you and Father!" _His words were ringing inside her head, while she looked at him with her mouth gaping in shock. She was completely stunned. She had suspected that his strange actions had been, in some small way, affected by seeing his parents marriage, but _**everything?!**__ No, it just can't be __**that**__ bad... It just can't be. Oh Dear Lord, help me..._

He started to speak with a trembling voice, while tears ran down his cheeks. "I saw you, Mommy! I saw how you cried in the evenings when he was gone. I saw you walking down to the harbor, day after day, when it was time for his ship to return. And I saw your disappointment when it hadn't. And worst of all, I saw how you totally broke apart by sorrow, when you found out that his ship had perished and that he would _**never **_come back again! I don't want to give Penny a life like that!I want her to be _**happy!**_" She shook her head in disbelief while she caressed his wet cheeks. _My dear, dear Shelly! What have you done?! _

She sat in silence for a long time, while she tried to figure out how she could explain everything to him. In a way that he would truly understand. Finally, she sighed, and began to tell him. "Yes, I missed your father very much when he was at sea. But the _**happiness**_ that I felt when he was home with me, made it worth all of my time alone. I loved him so much, and couldn't imagine my life without him. I knew what kind of life that awaited me, when I decided to marry him. I loved him like the man that he was, and being a Royal Navy Captain was a big part of that. If I had taken that away from him, he would no longer be the man I had fallen so much in love with." She stopped for awhile, to give him time to process what she had said, before she continued.

"Have you completely forgotten, how _**happy**_ I was, when he was at home? Yes, it is true that we only had short periods together, but during that time, we were always very happy. My friends who were married to ordinary men who were always at home, all year round, where jealous of my happiness. Their marriages had turned dull and emotionless throughout the years. Yes, my world was completely chattered when his ship sunk, but I managed to handle my sorrow, because I still had you and your sister and brother. And even his all too early death, have _**never **_made me regret, even for one single moment, that I married him!" She paused again.

"I had no idea that you looked upon us like that. I'm so sorry that you seem to have misunderstood what you saw. I'm so, so sorry, my dear boy, that I have never explained this to you!" He looked into the fire again, and seemed to try to grasp what she had told him. Meanwhile, she tried to figure out how she could be able to help him. She wanted him to be happy and she hoped that there was a chance to somehow turn everything into something good.

"Did she ever say or do something, that made you believe that she may have returned your feelings?" He thought about the kiss, and blushed. "Yes, she... hm...Yes, she did." "But you didn't tell her about your feelings for her?" He slowly shook his head with a face filled with sorrow and regret. He lowered his head and swallowed several times. "So you never gave her the chance to decide for _**herself**_, whether she would want a life together with you, or not?" Another silent shake of his head.

She smiled sadly. "Oh, my dear, sweet, stupid boy! I think that you have made a _**really **_big mistake, and you seem to have realized that by yourself, now. But you should not give in to your sorrow just yet. There might still be some hope left for you, and your beloved Penny. Unless you have hurt her feelings so deeply that she will not be able to forgive you, of course. But from what you have told me, she seems like an intelligent woman, and if you explain to her _**why**_ you did what you did, and make a real hard effort to earn her forgiveness, she will probably understand."

She swallowed before she continued to speak. She was going to balance on a very sharp edge now, and she prayed to the Lord that what she was about to say - for the purpose of shaking his mind into thinking about actually _**doing**_ something about the mess that he had created - would not have the opposite effect on him. She took a deep breath before she spoke with a soft voice: "But then, there is the small possibility that she is already married to someone else..."

He gasped and looked at her with terrified eyes. "_**Nooo!**_ _**Good Lord,**_ _**NOOOOO!**_" he burst out, with a voice filled with agony, while he shook his head fiercely. He raised from the coach and started to pace back and forth, with his hands clenched into fists. "She can't! She just... She just _**can't **_be married! Good Lord! What shall I _**do?!**_" Mary looked at him with a faint smile and took a deep breath with relief. _It worked!_ _Thank you, Lord, for answering my prayers!_

"Shelly, dear! Calm down! I don't think that this possibility is very great, so come and sit down again, and calm yourself down." She grabbed his trembling hands, when he had seated beside her. "Now listen to me, Sheldon! She was not engaged before you met her, and it has only been two months since you parted, so even if she got engaged right after she got home, she is most likely _**not **_married already. And according to what you have told me about her, she is a rather strong and independent woman, who would hardly let her be forced into an arranged marriage by her father." He seemed to relax a little, but then he seemed to have a new, disturbing thought.

"But...But what if she have met somebody else, then? Someone she... likes..." She laughed at her son, who suddenly seemed to be so much younger than what he actually was. _Oh, my dearest Shelly! Your naivety is just soo adorable right now!_

"My dear, dear son! You are the most stupid boy, sometimes! Do you really think, that she would be able to fall in love again, so soon after she have fallen in love with you? And besides, if you actually _**would**_ find out that she in fact _**do**_ love somebody else_..._ well, then I must say, that her feelings for you wasn't very deep and sincere, and then you two were never meant to be together, anyway!"

He processed what she had said, and thought about what Penny might feel for him. Did she love him, and if so, was her love big enough to want to live a life as the wife of a Navy officer? He thought about how she had looked like, and acted around him, after he had abandoned her. And he thought about her trembling voice when she had said goodbye.

But most of all, he thought about how she had kissed him back. How she had pressed her body against him. _Those kisses __**must**__ have meant something to her as well! She __**must**__ have loved me... At least... a little!_ He felt a faint feeling of hope grow stronger. _Maybe it isn't too late, after all!_

**ooOoo**

Mary yawned widely behind her hand and squeezed his arm gently, before she stood up. "It is very late, my dear, and I really must go to bed now. I hope that I have been able to help you in some small way. Now, my dear son, you go to bed and have a good nights sleep, and tomorrow, you start trying to figure out how to find her and how you can make her forgive you!"

He totally shocked his mother, when he got up and gave her a long and sincere hug. He had not done anything like that, since he was a very little boy. Her eyes were at once filled with tears of happiness. He still had his arms around her when he leaned back and looked at her with a frail smile. "Thank you, Mommy! For... For everything! I love you!" Marys voice cracked with emotions when she answered him. "I love you too, Shelly! Sweet dreams, my dear!" She caressed his cheek before she walked away.


	15. Visitor

**oooOOO Visitor OOOooo**

Elaine was working on her embroidery, when she heard the ringing of the doorbell. She looked at the clock on the wall. It was a little late for visitors, but she knew that it could be someone who wanted to talk with her brother about something concerning his company. She went to the front door herself, since it was their butler's evening off.

She opened the door and became completely stunned, when she immediately understood who it was. She let him in and after a very brief conversation, she asked him to wait in the salon.

**oooOOOooo**

Penny looked up from her book when her aunt knocked on the door and stepped in with a wicked smile on her lips. _What is she up to now, then?_ she thought and raised her eyebrows inquiringly. Elane was gifted with a great sense of humor, and had often tried to cheer her up with silly pranks and jokes.

"I'm so sorry to disturb your reading, but you have a visitor. Do you think that you can receive him here, in the library?" Penny shook her head. She had been crying again, and was not in the mood to entertain a visitor right then. "Please, Elaine! I don't think I'm able to meet someone right now. I... don't feel well. Can you please tell him, that he can come back tomorrow instead, when my father is home. Or maybe he can talk with him tonight, at the club."

Her aunt didn't move. She just stood in the door, broadly smiling. Penny was getting really annoyed at her. "_**Please**_, Elane! I really can't talk with any visitors tonight!" To her utter frustration, the elder woman just giggled at her words.

"Actually, he is here to meet _**you**_, not your father. I can send him away, if you really want to. But I have reason to believe, that you would actually _**want**_ to welcome this specific guest... _**Even**_ if you were, say... having a high fever and just about to cough your lungs out!" she giggled and showed that damn wicked smile once again. Penny shook her head in disbelief. "What?! Have you gone completely _**insane**_? What on earth are you talking about?!"

Her aunt held her hands out in a really bad attempt to look innocent. "I'm just trying to tell you, dear Penny, that I think... No! I am actually quite _**sure**_... that you would regret it _**very **_much, if you sent him away." She giggled once again and looked very mischievously at Penny.

"Actually..., I wouldn't mind at all, if you refuse to welcome him. Then I can have him _**all**_ to myself! He is _**very**_ handsome, you see." She sighed teatrically. "He is actually quite stunning! Tall... dark... handsome... And those eyes... Oh dear! So blue! Just like the colour of the ocean!" Penny dropped her book and stopped breathing.

Elaine started to tremble with excitement, while she tried to figure out how she should formulate the final hint. Penny just looked at her with staring eyes, while becoming increasingly paler with each passing second.

"Oh, I must admit that it was very difficult to just leave him there in the salon. Had I been as young as you, I would probably not have been able to keep my hands away from him... I have seen _**many**_ handsome men in my life, but _**never**_ someone that have looked _**this**_ good dressed in The Royal Navy unif-"

Penny rushed past her, heading to the salon. Elaine stood and looked at her vanishing niece and smiled triumphantly, while her eyes suddenly was filled with tears of joy.


	16. Reunion

**A/N: Hello, my dear readers! I am so sorry that I left my story hanging in oblivion like this. It was not my intention at all! Some events in my private life made me loose my ability to do any writing – or reading - during the previous weeks. But now, I'm finally BACK again! :-) **

**It's about five chapters left of this story. Let's see how the meeting between Penny and the Commander goes...**

* * *

_**The end of previous chapter:**_

"_Oh, I must admit that it was very difficult to just leave him there in the salon. Had I been as young as you, I would probably not have been able to keep my hands away from him... I have seen __**many**__ handsome men in my life, but never someone that have looked __**this**__ good dressed in The Royal Navy unif-" _

_Penny rushed past her, heading to the salon. Elaine stood and looked at her vanishing niece and smiled triumphantly, while her eyes were suddenly filled with tears of joy. _

* * *

**oooOOO Reunion OOOooo**

Penny rushed to the salon with her heart beating faster than ever before. But she stopped when she came to the closed door, and tried to calm herself. She suddenly felt her heart stop at the thought that maybe Elaine was mistaken, and it was actually someone else, and not _**him.**_

No, her aunt would not have said what she did if she was not _**absolutely**_ sure! She would never do something like that to her, otherwise! _It __**must**__ be him! It must be! But why is he here? What does he want? Oh my God! He is on the other side of that door! Only a few yards away from me... Oh God! How will I be able to see him again, without crying?_

She placed her palms onto the door, while she leaned her forehead against it, trying desperately to collect herself. It almost felt like she would faint. _Hold yourself together, Penny! Take a deep breath and open the door. You have longed to meet him for so long now... Why wait one single second longer?! _She took a very deep breath and then, she opened the door.

**ooOoo**

He paced back and forth, in an attempt to keep his nervousness at bay. He stopped immediately, when he heard the doorknob being turned and looked at the door that was slowly opening. And there she was, at last...

His heart jumped a beat at the sight of her golden hair and beautiful face. She was there. She was real. "Penny..." he whispered so softly that it was barely audible. She didn't say anything. She just looked at him with her big, green eyes, that were slightly red and swollen.

"You... you have been crying!" The realization pained him deeply. He also noticed that she seemed to be thinner than she had been before. _Good Lord, what have happened to you?!_

But she was still as beautiful as he remembered. But yet so very different. It took a while, before he realized that this was the first time ever, that he saw her in an whole, clean dress and with her hair laid in a proper hairdo. He had never seen her looking so... _**feminine**_ before.

**ooOoo**

Penny remained silent, while she nervously studied him. He looked exactly as she remembered, except that he was even more stunning now, as he was dressed in a gold decorated full dress uniform.

She still trembled with nervousness and swallowed over and over again. She didn't know what to say. Or what to do. To her great relief, she could not see any trace of arrogance in his face. Instead, he looked worried and nervous. She looked into his ocean blue eyes, those eyes that she had thought of and dreamed about so often. She remained silent and waited for him to say something.

She felt an urge to just step forward and put her arms around his neck, but at the same time, she felt an anger stir up inside her. Why had he come? Did he have an explanation to what he had done?

**ooOoo**

He took some deep breaths in an attempt to calm himself, so that he would be able to say what he had come to tell her. He had practiced on saying the sentences so many times by now, that when he finally started to speak, the words ran over his lips like a rapid stream.

"Penny, I am so, so sorry that I did what I did to you! I know that it was wrong and that I must have hurt you very deeply, by leaving you after we had kissed and I am so deeply sorry for that. It was not my intention to hurt you. That was the _**last **_thing I wanted to do! But sadly, I did it anyway, because I was afraid. I was afraid of loving you, because I thought that I would never be able to make you as happy as you deserve to be! I thought that you could never be happy with me, as I would leave you alone for the most part of the year. But now, I have come to reali-"

"Do you really think that you can just walk in here, come up with a lame excuse, and then expect me to _**forgive**_ you?!" she interrupted, with a voice cold as ice. "If you didn't want me, then _**why **_did you kiss me? _**Why **_did you let me think that you actually cared about me, when you obviously didn't care at all about my feelings, or what I wanted?" Her voice turned more and more angry, while she stepped closer to him, so that she finally glared at him with only a few inches between them. He didn't back away, but his eyes were filled with pain and shame.

"Can you even _**imagine**_ how I felt, after you ran away like you did, just after you had kissed me? _**Can you?!**_ First, you swept my feet away and then, you just threw me away like I was garbage! Can't you understand how that made me feel?" She took some deep breaths to calm herself, so that she would not start to scream at him. She must keep calm and not loose her control over her emotions. Then she continued.

"And now you come here, and have the _**nerve**_ to think that I will forgive you, as if nothing serious have happened! Well, I've got a real _**surprise**_ for you, Commander Cooper! I will _**NOT**_ forgive you!" She got mad at herself when she felt tears burn in her eyes, and she was just about to turn away from him, when he grabbed her arms.

"Penny, please! Please stay and listen to me!" When she just glared at him with eyes that were both furious and filled with tears, he lowered his voice to a soft plea. "Please, Penny... You have _**every**_ right to be mad at me, I know that! But _**please**_... Please listen to me... Let me explain! Let me explain why I did what I did. Why I left you..." She looked into his eyes, and she saw that they were filled with agony and despair. She realized that he wasn't indifferent to her feelings and to what he had done to her. He actually... cared...

She suddenly felt all he anger wash away, and it was replaced by a huge tiredness... She needed to sit down. She looked at the sofa in the end of the room and he immediately understood what she wanted and led her there and sat down beside her. He took both her hands in his and started to explain everything with a soft voice.

He then told her all about his parents, what he had thought about his mothers loneliness and sorrow, and about what she had told him about her love towards his father and their happiness. Penny listened, and finally she could understand why he had acted like he had towards her. She could understand him, but could she forgive him? She looked down at his hands that held hers and tried to sort out her thoughts and feelings. But everything was a complete turmoil inside her.

"Penny... I did what I did, because I thought that it was best for you. I didn't want to give you the kind of life that my mother had with my father. I did it because I want you to be happy! But after what my mother told me, I am no longer sure that I did the right thing, when I left you and I have come here to find out what _**you **_want. You see... if I just think about what I want for _**myself**_, I would **_never_** ever let you leave me again! I would **_never_** ever walk away from you! And if there is the _**slightest **_chance that y..."

Penny throw herself against him, and wrapped her arms around his neck. She rested her golden head against his shoulder and he could feel the rapid beating of her heart. He put his arms around her and held her as close as he possibly could. They just sat like that for a long time, completely silent and still.

Penny could feel his heartbeats, the movements of his chest from his breathing, and the oh so familiar scent of soap that always seemed to follow him. She felt tears in her eyes again, but this time, they came from happiness.

"Sheldon... " she finally whispered against his chest. "Please... _**never**_ _**ever**_ leave me again! I mean... you must go out on sea, of course... But _**please!**_ Do never ever _**leave **_me again... I can't bare it! I just... I just _**can't!" **_she begged him, with a pleading voice.

He felt a great weight being lifted from his shoulders, and he sighed deeply with relief. "No, Penny... I _**promise**_! I will _**never **_leave you! I don't want to! I will _**never **_want to!" He leaned back to be able to look into her eyes.

She started to cry at his words, and he held her tighter and pleaded "No, Penny! Please don't cry!" She laughed through her tears. "Oh, Sheldon you fool! Can't you understand that this is happy tears!" She looked up at him with a smile and leaned forward. Their lips met in a slow, tender kiss.

She moaned softly at the feeling of his soft lips, and then his tongue, that slowly caressed her lower lip. She met it with her own, and then they were lost in the feeling of each others mouths. It took a long time, before they parted. He caressed her cheek and asked with a whispering, trembling voice: "Penny... Will you make me the happiest man in the world, and marry me?" She smiled the biggest smile she had ever smiled in her life, and answered him without the slightest hesitation "Yes, Sheldon! I want nothing more than to marry you! And I don't care at all, if you are a Navy Officer, or not!" They both laughed, both out of relief and from happiness. And they kissed again... And again...

**ooOoo**

He leaned backwards, into the back of the sofa, and she placed her head onto his shoulder. After a long silence, he whispered with a soft voice: "Penny..." She turned her head to look at him and returned his smile. "Penny... It was just like this, that I held you that night... during the storm..." She laid her head back onto his shoulder. "Yes, I remember... You were so kind to me. It was then that I realized that it actually existed a real heart beneath that damned arrogance of yours..." She looked up at him with a smirk.

He raised his eyebrows at her teasing. "Yes, I could not comfort you, by just glaring and scolding at you, could I?" They both laughed. But then he got serious. "To hear you cry, immediately teared down all my defenses against you. I wanted to do everything I could, to comfort you. And by having you so close... I think that it was during that evening, that I finally fell in love with you..."

He kissed her lips softly while holding her closer. They stayed silent for awhile, before he continued. "It amazed me so much, that this strong, independent and stubborn woman could actually need my help in some way. That you could actually need... me!" She caressed his cheek, in a silent confirmation. Then she looked at him with questioning eyes.

"Why were you always so arrogant and condescending towards me? You showed me short glimpses of who you really were, and then, you went back to being such a bastard again. Why?" He sighed deeply, but he had expected this question from her. "I have always protected myself, by being arrogant. When I don't feel comfortable among others, I try to keep people at arms lengths with my arrogant behavior. I'm so sorry that I hurt you by behaving like that, towards you..."

"But you were like that right when you stepped through the door to my cabin to question me! How could I have done anything then, that already would have made you feel uncomfortable?! I can't understand _**how**_!" He blushed and looked embarrassed. "You didn't do anything wrong at all, Penny! You made me feel uncomfortable by just being... you. When I held your head up and gave you water to drink ... I looked into your beautiful eyes, that were filled with so much sorrow... Then I felt... I got feelings that I wasn't used to. I have long afterwards realized that I was attracted to you from the beginning, and that made me feel uncomfortable. Witch then made me behave arrogantly towards you..."

She kissed him and then whispered into his ear. "I love you, Sheldon! I love you, even when you are arrogant, although it makes me angry!" He laughed softly and whispered back. "And I love you, Penny! Even if you are the most stubborn woman I have ever met!"

**ooOoo**

They continued to talk about everything that had happened between them. Everything about their thoughts and feelings. And they told each other about their dreams and hopes for the future. He told her that he wanted to continue to work as a Navy Commander, and he was hopeful that he would soon be promoted as Captain. But he also dreamed about studying in Oxford. He revealed to her, that he saved as much money as he could, to be able to do that for at least a year, someday in the future. That didn't surprise Penny at all. She had already known, that he seemed to love books even more than he loved the sea.

But she was nervous about what he would think about what she wanted to do. Would he be able to accept that? "I want to continue to work together with my father. I don't want to give up my dream of independence. Can you accept to be married with a woman who is that bold and strange? Who wants to have a life and money of her own? Who wants children, of course, but who also wants more than that?" He looked at her with eyes full of surprise. "Of course I can! I admire that about you! It is one of the main reasons why I love you, Penny! I don't want you to change who you are, because of me!"

If it had been possible, she would have loved him even more, when she heard him say that. But she already loved him as much as she possibly could...

**oooOOOooo**

Penny's father came back home very late, after a pleasant evening at the Gentlemen's Club. He noticed a forgotten candlelight on a table in the salon, and stepped through the half open door to blow it out. He stopped in his tracks when he noticed an unknown man sitting in the sofa. He was sleeping, with his head leaning against the wall behind him.

Wyatt felt his anger build and was just about to go and wake up the young man and ask him what the hell he was doing there, when he suddenly noticed his daughters blonde head in the semi darkness. She was also sleeping, with her head resting on the man's thigh and her body stretched out on the sofa. A Royal Navy uniform coat was wrapped over her.

He stared at them in wonder, and it wasn't until he had calmed down from the chock of the sight, that his brain started to function again. He was then able to notice the golden epaulettes on the coat, that stated that the man was a Royal Navy Commander. He clenched his hands into fists in anger and had to bite his tongue, to stop himself from bursting out a curse and awake his sleeping daughter.

_You __**really**__ are something, aren't you, Commander Cooper! To have the __**nerve**__ to come here, after what you did to her! If I didn't want to wake Penny up, as sleep deprived as she is, I would wake you up right now and demand that you explained yourself!_

But his anger calmed down, when he noticed how relaxed and happy his daughter looked. The faint smile on her lips made him smile also, and he sighed with relief. It seemed like they had settled the things between them. _I hope, for Penny's sake, that you are just as eager to meet __**me**__ tomorrow, young man! It seems... well_… _I really __**hope **__anyway, __that you ____then _will want to discuss **certain** things with me...

He shook his head and smiled at his own thoughts, before he finally blew out the candle and went to bed.


	17. Confrontation

**oooOOO Confrontation OOOooo**

The next morning, Wyatt and his sister Elaine was just beginning to eat their breakfast, when Penny came into the dining room, followed by the Navy Commander. Penny went to her father and kissed him on the cheek. "Good morning, Daddy. This is Commander Sheldon Cooper. He have something he wants to discuss with you."

Wyatt raised from the chair and started to speak with a voice hard as steel. "Yes I assumed that, when I saw you both in the sofa, when I came home last night." he said, while glaring at the young man with piercing eyes.

"Daddy, please!" Penny pleaded, while she grabbed his arm and looked at him with begging eyes. But her fathers eyes never left the Commander's face, who now blushed slightly. But he never once turned away from the look from the older man. This was something that Wyatt noticed with satisfaction. He very well knew that his daughter would not be able to be happy with a weak minded man.

Sheldon then took two determined strides forward, and stretched out his hand towards Wyatt. "Good morning, Mr Queen! It is a pleasure to meet you!" They shook hands and Wyatt was pleased by the other mans firm and resolute handshake. "Well then, Commander Cooper! Why don't you tell me the reason why you are here!" he said and crossed his arms. He was determined to not make the situation any easy to handle, for his daughters suitor.

Penny immediately moved to Sheldon's side and grabbed his hand and pressed it reassuringly. But he didn't need the support from her. He felt sure about what he was about to do, and he just knew that her father would not be able to say or do _**anything**_, that would be able to scare him from doing just that. He squeezed her hand back to calm her, and started to speak.

"Yesterday, I came here to meet your daughter, Mr Queen. I know that I have hurt her very deeply. But as I have already explained to her, I did what I did out of my deep love for her. I thought then, that I was only going to make her unhappy if I expressed my love for her, and if I asked her to marry me. I just couldn't do that to her! But when I talked with my mother five days ago, I understood that I might have done the wrong thing, by thinking like that. Therefore, I came here to explain everything to Penny. We talked for a long time yesterday. Then I explained everything to her, about the reasons for my previous actions."

"Yes, you bloody well should _**explain**_ yourself, Commander Cooper!" Wyatt burst out. No matter what the Commander's reasons might have been, he surely did deserve to hear about what his actions had done to Penny. And he really deserved to experience some of her fathers anger face to face.

Wyatt let all his anger out, and roared at the younger man. "Have you _**any**_ idea how ill and unhappy she have been, these last two months since she left your ship?! Have you _**any**_ idea how much you hurt her?! Do you _**really**_ think that you _**deserve**_ her forgiveness?!" Wyatt took one step closer to Sheldon, and his fury made his eyes look black.

Then, for the first time since he had entered the dining room, Sheldon looked away from him. He couldn't look at the furious man in front of him. He just felt too ashamed right then, to be able to meet his eyes. He spoke with a soft voice, while he looked at Penny with apologetic eyes.

"No, I don't deserve her forgiveness. Not at all... What I did to her was unforgivable, and I wish that I could turn back time, to be able to do everything differently. But I can't do that... I can only explain the reasons to my actions. That I did it because I love her. But my actions had the opposite effect to what I intended..."

He could feel how Penny squeezed his hand in encouragement, and that was all that he needed to regain his courage. He raised his head and met the other mans eyes again, and continued to speak with a much more determined voice.

"I love your daughter very much, Mr Queen! And I want to spend the rest of my life doing _**everything**_ that I possibly can, to deserve her forgiveness and her love. I will do _**anything**_ to make her happy!" He looked at Penny with a faint smile. She smiled back, and the rest of his nervousness vanished. He looked back at Wyatt with a challenging and steadfast glimpse in his eyes, and continued to speak calmly.

"Your daughter is a wonderful woman! She is strong, independent, stubborn, courageous, helpful, warm, intelligent and so much more. And I love _**everything**_ about her! She is unique, and I want to spend the rest of my life in her company! As a Navy Officer, I will not always be at her side, but I can _**assure**_ you, Mr Queen, that I will _**always**_ make her feel loved and appreciated! She obviously doesn't need a man who takes care of her. But instead, she needs someone who _**loves**_ her! And I want to be that man, Mr Queen!"

Penny smiled at him with teary eyes, before she turned to her father. "Sheldon have already asked me to marry him, and I have said Yes, without any hesitation whatsoever. I love him and I want to live my life together with him! I hope that you can accept that, and that you will give us your blessing!" She looked at her father with pleading eyes, but it wasn't necessary. When he had explained _**why**_ he loved Penny, he had immediately earned her fathers trust and respect.

He smiled at the young couple. "You don't have to worry, dear Penny! This man just explained that he understands what kind of a woman you are and that he can see beyond your pretty face. Since he loves you for the right reasons, I think that he have the ability to make you happy."

The young couple sighed with relief. But Wyatt was not finished. He looked at Penny with his piercing eyes. "The question is... do _**you**_ love **_him_ **enough, Penny? Can you _**really**_ forgive him for all the unhappiness he have caused you? Can you forgive and forget what he did to you, and leave it behind you?"

"Yes Daddy, I love him very much! You already know that, from everything that I have told you about him during the last two months. And I _**can**_ forgive him! He did what he did, because it was what he thought was best for me. It was very wrong, and he knows that by now!"

Penny smiled a little wicked smile at Sheldon while she continued. "And I can **_a__ssure_** you, Daddy, that I didn't forgive him without letting him know _**exactly**_ what I thought about his behavior! I didn't make it easy for him! Far from it..." She smiled broadly at Sheldon, who blushed and looked apologetically at her.

Wyatt laughed and shook his head. "Well, I can just imagine how _**that **_must have been! I wish that I had been able to watch it!" He turned to Sheldon with a big smile. "This little lady's temper comes from her mother, so I know _**exactly**_ what you had to endure, young man!" The two men then smiled at each other in mutual understanding.

"Since Penny has forgiven you, I can do that too. And since you seem to love my dear daughter for who she really is, I give you two my sincere blessing! Welcome to my family, Sheldon!" The two men shook their hands, and Penny gave her father a long hug, while tears of happiness blurred her vision.

**ooOoo**

Elaine had silently listened to the whole conversation, with her heart beating frantically out of nervousness, since she had no idea how her brother would handle the young man. She now stood up and gave Penny a warm hug.

She then turned to Sheldon and made him blush deeply, when she hugged him too. "Thank you so very, very much Sheldon, for having the courage to come back to Penny and for making her happy again!" she said with a warm voice and a big smile.

But then, she turned serious and poked at his chest with her index finger. "But don't you _**dare**_ hurt her again, young man! She have cried enough for ten lifetimes by now, and if I _**ever**_ hear that you have made her cry once again, I will punish you in a way that will make every Pirate Captain look like a sweet baby in comparison! Do you _**understand**_, Commander Cooper?!" Sheldon understood at once, that her threat was not meant like a joke, and nodded. "Yes, I promise!"

"Come and sit down for breakfast," Wyatt then said to them, and pointed to the chairs to his left. When Penny discovered that there where _**two**_ sets of plates and teacups on the table, she looked inquiringly at her father.

He just winked at her and smiled widely.


	18. Burning

**oooOOO Burning OOOooo**

Later, in the afternoon of the same day as she had presented Sheldon to her father, they had discussed the wedding date with both him and Elaine, and it was decided that they would marry in one month. That would give them two weeks as a married couple, before Sheldon's leave was over and he had to return to the Pasadenian.

It would be a very short engagement, but when Britain was at war, it was not completely unheard of concerning listed men. Neither of them wanted to wait until his next leave from the sea. That wouldn't come earlier than six months from now, and the war could make it even longer than that. The thought of having to wait that long made them very eager to marry right away. And they just didn't care about what the people in Plymouth would think about it. They had already waited long enough...

**ooOoo**

After the discussion about the wedding date, the young couple went to the salon and sat down on the sofa. Penny cuddled close to Sheldon and sighed with relief. Her father had really surprised her, by not resisting to their wish to marry so soon.

Now, they were finally alone again, and could be close for the fist time since they had woken up in the sofa, early in the morning. She wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him softly. His lips were so wonderfully soft. She moved her lips slowly over his, and he moaned while he deepened their kiss. Their tongues circled around each other, and she felt the now so familiar burning feeling deep inside her.

He removed his lips, but only to let them trail downwards along her neck. She gasped at the feeling of the sparks that his lips ignited. "Sheldon... I..." He moved back to her lips again, and she was lost...

**oooOOOooo**

It was some days later, and they sat in the sofa as usual. And they were kissing, as usual. For each day they had met, their kisses and touches had become more and more passionate.

She wanted to feel him closer. To feel his body against her. She stroked her trembling hands over his vest, trailing upwards under the uniform coat. When she reached his shoulders, she pushed the coat off his body, and they wrapped their arms around each other in a tight embrace.

The sensation of the muscles in his arms, now covered only in the thin linen of his shirt, made her moan deeply into his kiss. She started to trail soft kisses along his jaw, while she untied the black silk cravat, to get access to his long neck. She became even more exited, when she could feel how he trembled under her lips. "Ahhh... Penny... What are you doing to me?"

She caressed her fingers down his neck and to the bottom of his throat. When she started to untie the thin ribbon that held his shirt together, he grabbed her hands and pulled them away with a deep, frustrated groan. "No, Penny! We can't! Not... not yet!" He took a deep breath and looked at her with apologetic eyes.

"I'm so sorry... I... I just... Don't doubt for a single moment, that I _**really**_ want to make love to you, _**right now!**_ But... not _**here**_... on this sofa, where we can be interrupted at any time! When we finally make love, I want to be sure that we can't be disturbed... by _**anyone**_ or _**anything**_!"

She smiled with blushing cheeks and spoke with a trembling voice."Yes, I know... but... I just can't help myself! I want to be close to you. It feels like I can never get close enough! I'm so sorry... Please forgive me!"

He laughed and shook his head. "Penny... Penny... Penny... Do you really think that I take offense by _**this?!**_ Don't you think that _**I also**_ want to be as close as possible to you? The _**only **_difference between us, is that I am much more used to control myself, than you are." He smiled wickedly. "But sometimes, like right now, I curse that darn discipline!"

She laughed and shook her head. "Yes, I actually dislike that damned discipline of yours too! And right now, more than ever!"

She sighed and caressed his cheek, with a thoughtful smile. "Maybe it's best that we say farewell for tonight, before that discipline of yours run dry. Give me that silk scarf, and I will tie it for you."

He gave it to her, and looked down at her concentrated face, while she put the cravat round his neck. He smiled, enjoying the soft touch of her fingers. He would gladly have her doing this every day in the future. _Well... maybe she will, if I ask her to... _He blushed at the thought, and lifted his coat from the sofa and put it on again.

She caressed him over his now wool clad chest and looked at him with admiring eyes. "You really look _**very**_ good in this! But for each time we meet, my desire to get it off off you, is getting stronger and stronger..." She giggled and blushed, while he grabbed her hands and kissed her fingers one after the other, while he spoke. "I... wouldn't... mind... that... at... all... You know I don't! But I think that it is safest that you don't do it again. Not until our wedding night... But _**then**_, I really hope that you will take off not only my coat and cravat, but all the rest as well!" he said with a wicked smile, before he kissed her softly on the lips.

She blushed at the thought of seeing him without any clothes at all. But then, she looked him straight into his eyes with a challenging glance. "Well... when you have finally become my husband, Commander Cooper, you will not stand a chance against me!"

He laughed his genuine, warm laugh that she had heard for the first time only a couple of days ago. She had been absolutely stunned the first time she heard it.

"Oh, Penny, you cunning little mermaid! When you talk like that, I start to think that it might be best if I elope from the wedding, or else you will be the death of me!" She slapped his arm teasingly. "Don't you even _**think**_ of doing something like that, Sheldon! If you do, I will hunt you to the end of the world, if necessary, to find you! I will _**never**_ let you run away from me again, remember!"

He looked down at her with raised eyebrows. "There is no 'end of the world' as you put it. The Earth is round, therefore it can't have any end! Every seaman knows that!" She snorted and slapped his arm once again. "Ohhh, you are always such a smart-ass! It's just an _**expression!**_ I didn't mean it _**literally**_!"

He looked at her with concern. "But you do know that I was only teasing you, don't you? I will never, ever abandon you again..." She nodded and smiled brightly at him. "Yes, I know."

He grabbed his hat before he kissed her one last time. "Sweet dreams, my dear little Mermaid." "Sweet dreams, Nutty. Dreams about me, I hope!" He laughed. "Yes, of course!" And with that, he left her. She looked after him with her eyes sparkling with happiness.

**oooOOOooo**

He stepped out of the entrance door, put on his bicorn hat and headed to the small inn nearby, where he rented a room. He took some deep breaths to calm himself. His lust had been stronger than ever. And she had only touched his neck! _Good Lord! How will I be able to keep my hands away from her for three more weeks?!_

He had never experienced a passion like this. The only time he had been with a woman was seven years ago, when he had been the very reluctant lover to Lady Margaery, the beautiful wife of Admiral Collingwood. Her skillful and bold touches had easily made him aroused, but it had been nothing, compared to what he now felt together with his wonderful fiancée.

The ten year older woman had seduced him during a four weeks leave from his assignment as a Lieutenant on her husbands flagship. He had delivered a letter from the Admiral to her, and he had become a victim to her experienced seduction. His interest in her was not very strong and he had only followed her to her bed out of youthful curiosity. He hadn't felt comfortable with betraying his superior, and he had ended their "relationship" after meeting her only three times.

He blushed when he thought about what he had learned to do during his encounters with her. She had learned him a lot about how to give pleasure to a woman. But he had never used that knowledge with anyone. He had never been interested in any woman. Until now...

His face was suddenly broken up in a bright and slightly wicked smile. For the very first time, he sent a grateful thought to the beautiful Lady Margaery. In three weeks, at his wedding night, he was going to _**finally**_ make use of all that she had teached him.


End file.
